Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Difference and discrimination, part III: Minority Quakerisms?

(continued from part II: Pagan Friends and Pagan Quakerism)

Pagan Quakerism?

So, we've talked about whether or not I, by myself, bring Pagan Quakers into existence.  Now, let's talk about Pagan Quakerism.

I could be wrong, but I don't think it exists.  Except maybe in "The Princess Bride" alternate universe.





In all seriousness, I have no idea what anybody is talking about when they fume over and worry about Pagan Quakerism.  (And you'd think I would know, especially if I'm the vanguard of the movement.)

So, first, define Pagan Quakerism for me: tell me exactly what Pagan Quakerism is.

And second, explain to me exactly how it's a threat to unprogrammed liberal Quakerism -- but, do it using logic and facts, and not using stereotypes or fear-mongering.

Nobody's been able to do this for me, except with recourse to Christian exclusivism -- which includes identifying the very existence of non-Christian Friends as a threat to, and a fundamental change to, Quakerism.  Which is plainly not the universal experience of Friends.  That argument also often then goes on to equate the existence of Pagan Friends with the existence of Pagan Quakerism.  Which doesn't wash -- not logically, and not in real life. 

In my opinion, there is no room for any form of theaological exclusivism in unprogrammed liberal Quakerism.  Theoretically, either Quakerism is exclusively Christian and some form of Christian exlcusivist, or Quakerism includes multiple theaologies and is open to different ways of experiencing the Divine / the Spirit / That-Which-Is-Sacred.  However, in real life, Quakerism includes Friends of many theaologies, and not all liberal, unprogrammed Friends are comfortable with this fact.  I'd like to write a more in-depth analysis of this issue of some point, because I don't have room to go further into it here.

Does the existence of minority Friends create minority Quakerisms?  Do minority Quakerisms exist?

Does lesbian Quakerism exist?  And/or gay, bisexual, transgender, and/or queer Quakerism?  How about women's Quakerism?  African-American Quakerism?  Jewish Quakerism?  Buddhist Quakerism?  Non-Theist Quakerism?  Working-class Quakerism?  Poor Quakerism?  Disabled Quakerism?  Ethnic Quakerism?

Claiming that the existence of minority Friends creates minority Quakerisms is part of that fallacy that hides and perpetuates discrimination against minority Friends within Quakerism.

There are also organizations for/of LGBTQ Friends, Quaker women, Friends of color, and Non-Theist Friends in the US.  In addition, there are Gatherings of LGBTQ Friends, Quaker women, Friends of color, and Non-Theist Friends in the US.

Do the existence of organizations and Gatherings of minority Friends create minority Quakerisms?

When Friends who are of minority status within the larger society and within the Society of Friends have space that is minority-focused -- space to come together, build community, share the truth of our experience, and build strength, then bring our gifts and the truth of our experience back to our larger Quaker family -- the larger Religious Society of Friends benefits and grows stronger. 

Minority Quaker experience and perspectives

Let me ask an alternative, related question, though: do minority Quaker sensibilities or perspectives exist?

In my experience, definitely.

What happens when you bring together the experience, or maybe the lens through which you see the world, of being lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and/or queer, and the experience, or the lens through which you see the world, of being Quaker?

The experience and lenses of being Jewish and being Quaker?

The experience and lenses of being Pagan and being Quaker?

There is a unique way of experiencing and of looking at the world that comes from bringing together these two realities and lenses into a whole.

And just as LGBTQ Friends do not shed being LGBTQ for being Quaker, neither do Jewish or Pagan Friends shed being Jewish or Pagan for being Quaker: we live our lives as an integrated whole.

So what happens when we bring that whole perspective to our lives as Friends?

When we bring our perspectives as members of minorities to our lives as Friends, and to our Quaker family, we bring perspectives our Quaker families would not otherwise have.

We bring opportunity.  We bring truth.  We bring integrity.  We bring possibility.  

Oh, wait.  Maybe here is where the threat is.  

I can tell you, as a cisgender person, that it's not always easy hearing the truth of the experience of my transgender F/friends.  I can tell you I'm not always good at it.  No, I am not to blame for being born into a cisgender body.  I am not to blame for having unearned cisgender privilege handed to me by society.  But I can choose what to do with it.  I am not to blame for the vitriol in the feminist and LGBTQ communities against transgender women during controversies I haven't been part of, but I can choose to be an ally in those communities now and in controversies I'm part of now.  I can own that I have had a path and a process that I have walked towards acceptance of my transgender brothers and sisters, that there are times when I still don't have the inside of my head all sorted out, and that that's my problem, not that of any transgender person.

I can choose how to listen to the experiences and perspectives of transgender people, particularly within my Meeting and other Quaker organizations.  Even when I am uncomfortable. 

I have been enriched immeasurably by doing so.  So have the organizations I am part of.  So has my ministry.  So has my life.  So has my experience of the Divine.  

I can tell you, as a white person, that it's not always easy hearing the truth of the experience of my F/friends and family members of color -- African-American, multi-racial, Korean-American, unknown, Japanese-American, Native-Chinese-Irish-Black, more.  I can tell you I'm not always good at it.  No, I am not to blame for being born into a white body.  I am not to blame for having unearned white-skin privilege handed to me by society.  But I can choose what to do with it.  No, I am not to blame for being raised racist in a racist society, but I can own my path and my process, that there are times when I don't have it all sorted out, and when I don't, I can own that as a white person. 

I can choose how to listen to the experiences and perspectives of people of color, particularly within my family, my Meeting, and other Quaker organizations.  Even when I am uncomfortable.

I have been enriched immeasurably by doing so.  So have the organizations I am part of.  So has my ministry.  So has my life.  So has my experience of the Divine.  

What discomfort are non-Pagan Friends afraid of, if the truth of Pagan Quakers' lives and experiences are brought fully into the Light?  

Are we, as Friends, willing to brave the discomfort -- and yes, it can be excruciatingly painful sometimes -- for deeper spiritual communion and deeper worship?  For deeper direct experience of the Divine?  

If we are, we have to be truly willing, and we have to let go and trust Quaker process, all the way.  We have to be willing to be personally transformed.  I've been part of Meetings that have done both -- found this a horrible labor, and found this a worthwhile one.  Neither is easy.  But true Quaker process brings deep, sweet rewards of the Spirit. 

This is really about all of us

Do we as Quaker organizations want to walk our talk better?  Make our Meetings, our Gatherings, and our events more welcoming to minorities in general?  To people of color?  To poor people?  To people with disabilities?  LGBTQ folks?  Do we want to serve homeless people in our communities better?  Do we want to be more welcoming of people who aren't rich or middle class?  Families with kids?

Do we want to fill our Committee rosters??

Most importantly, if everything we do springs from worship, do we want our Meetings and organizations to have rich spiritual lives, deep spiritual communion, and deep worship? 

Then we can't keep sweeping the ways we're different from each other, and the discrimination people in our worshiping communities experience -- not just in the outside world, but within our own Quaker communities -- under the rug.  And we can't keep insisting people who experience discrimination are bigots for standing in their integrity and talking about the truth of their lives.

As Friends, we have a reputation for social justice in the wider world.  We're willing to look squarely at the inequities in the larger societies in which Friends live, and we're willing to do the work to create change.

Why aren't we willing to do this work within our own Religious Society?

Why are we willing to confront racism, sexism, homophobia, classism, ableism, ethnocentrism, and theaological and religious discrimination in our cities, towns, and nations, and even our families, but not in our own Meetinghouses?

2 comments:

Su said...

I think that one thing that makes this sort of conversation hard among Quakers is that many of us have a hard time distinguishing between someone saying, "This is my experience" and that same person saying, "This should also be your experience." I recently had someone ask me why it was so important to me that my Quaker meeting all share my experience and understanding of God, and it took me aback because I don't think I ever said that's what I wanted, and it's not what I want. But that's what this person heard.

I have said that I am not sure how well-accepted my experience is when I speak about it, and that I am not sure how welcoming my monthly meeting might be to a possible emerging ministry. I have said that I spent some time unsure whether I could remain a member of my monthly meeting. But "I'm not sure this is the right place for me," while a painful thing to contemplate, is still not the same thing as saying, "everyone must agree with me."

I remember a long time ago an FTM blogger I read talked about attending a butch/FTM dialogue. He wrote a list of "things I learned at the FTM/butch dialogue," and one of them was, "I learned that my decisions about what to do with my body is somehow a statement about your body," and that was really eye-opening for me, and became something I have worked really hard on (for instance, I no longer feel that a friend's decision to diet for weight loss is a commentary on my decision to focus on body acceptance, but that was a hard one!).

This dynamic can make our conversations really hard, and it can shut up a lot of people--until I got some support from a friend and from a clearness committee, I was pretty much carrying my sense of an emerging ministry by myself, and squelching it, because it seemed like something (to me anyway) that Friends in my meeting would not want to accept. I know I'm not the only one this has happened to.

Sometimes when we're in silence, i think, "There's somebody in this room with a message about Jesus they're afraid to deliver because they think it will be rejected, and somebody else not delivering a message about understanding the testimonies from a non-theist perspective for the same reason..."

RantWoman said...

Su, I can totally related to your point about "this is my experience; it should also be your experience."

I think the integrity point for me is more like "This is my experience and I cannot even apologize if it makes you uncomfortable." That way a person can drag visual impairment or trauma issues or chemical sensitivies inconveniently into the conversation as part of occupying our own space regardless of any desire or not to affect the experiences of others.