2020 Winter Solstice Celebration On-Line

 

You're invited to
the 24th Annual

Winter Solstice Celebration

A Celebration of the Darkness and the Light
with Songs and Stories

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Saturday, 19th December, 2020
On-line
7-9 pm GMT

Europe: 7-9 pm UK; 8-10 pm Central European Time
North America: 2-4 pm Eastern Time; 11 am-1 pm Pacific Time
Everywhere: Click here to confirm time in your location

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A time of quiet reflection in the midst of the hectic festive season

Songs, stories, candle-lighting, silent meditation, singing, and more

All ages welcome

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Registration required

To register, please click here

Sign Up for 2020 Winter Solstice Singing

 

I am going to be hosting a Winter Solstice Celebration (A Winter Solstice Singing Ritual) on-line, on Saturday, 19th December.  

From September through December, I am hosting on-line song-learning sessions / rehearsals for those who would like to learn the songs ahead of time, to sing along during the Celebration.  

Everyone is welcome, regardless of experience singing or ability to read music. There are easier pieces and more challenging pieces -- a little something for everyone.

You do not need to attend these in order to come to the Celebration; likewise, you do not need to come to the Celebration if you come to these.  You are welcome at either and both!

Song-learning sessions will run from Sunday, 6th September through Sunday, 13th December, each week building on the week before.  

We'll cover the sing-along songs, of course, including harmonies, but also the "performance" songs as well. (If you'd like more information on the specific songs, please click here.) 

• Song-learning sessions will run from 6-8 pm UK time, and are open to anyone, regardless of geographic location.  
  

• You can check what time that is for you here: https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/converter.html.   
  

• If you miss a session or the time generally doesn't work for you, there will be rehearsal recordings available.   
  

• You don't need a copy of the book or CD in order to participate, although they're helpful to have.

 

Schedule: 

• Song-learning sessions/rehearsals Sundays, 6th September - 6th December (no session 29th November), 6-8 pm UK time
  

• Complete read-through and sing-through, Sunday, 13th December, 6-8 pm UK time
  
  

• Winter Solstice Celebration, Saturday, 19th December, 7-9 pm UK time 

 

Copies of the book and CD

You do not need to own a copy of this in advance, but the book contains all the sheet music, and the CD contains full recordings of all 15 pieces, as well as teaching tracks for 8 (as well as the full Celebration), so it's very, very useful.

If you live in Europe and would like a copy for £14 + postage, you can get one from me.

If you live in the US and want a copy, the person to contact is my co-author Julie Forest Middleton; I can put you in touch.

 

How do I know without knowing more about the music itself?

The songs are a mix of rounds, well-known songs, spirituals, feminist spirituality chants and Pagan chants, and a couple of choral pieces.

There's detailed information about every song at tinyurl.com/wintersolsticesinging/for-singers.

I'm looking forward to singing with people from a wide range of places in the Northern Hemisphere!

 

Open to people of all genders

Both the choir and the Celebration are open to people of all genders. Transgender, non-binary, agender, and genderqueer people are explicitly welcome.

• The music I have is written mostly in treble clef and is labeled for sopranos and altos, but I've worked with tenors and basses over the last several years, and these pieces adapt well for lower voices as well.

• Anyone can sing any part on any song that works for their voice. You might sing a part labelled one way for one piece, and a part labelled a different way on another. You can also choose to sing all one voice part if that's what works for you. We have lots of flexibility.

 

If you have any other questions, please let me know. 

If you'd like to sign up for the song-learning sessions, please click here:
https://forms.gle/ds2yV9eLfkLFa2ot7

On-line choir starting soon

Hello, all! 

Starting in August, I am hosting on-line song-learning sessions for an on-line Winter Solstice Celebration (a presentation of A Winter Solstice Singing Ritual).

There will be:

* two taster sessions in August;

* regular sessions from September to December that build on each other, leading up to the Celebration on 20th December.

You are invited to participate in the Winter Solstice Celebration whether you sing or not -- but if you'd like to learn the songs in advance, including harmonies, please sign up!

You also do not need to commit to the Celebration to come learn songs. Maybe you just want to come learn songs and sing! (You can also decide later.)

We will meet once a week. I hope to record rehearsals for those who can't join us live and for anyone who wants to go back over the rehearsal during the week; these will be shared privately. There will also be a variety of learning resources available between sessions for your work on your own.

Everyone is welcome, regardless of experience singing or ability to read music. There are easier pieces and more challenging pieces -- a little something for everyone.

== Dates ==

Taster sessions:

Sundays, 9th & 16th August

6-8 pm BST

(7 pm Central European, 1 pm EDT, 10 am PDT)

Regular rehearsals:

Sundays, 6th September-13th December

6-8 pm British Time

(7 pm Central European, 1 pm Eastern North America, 10 am Pacific North America)

Winter Solstice Celebration:

A presentation of A Winter Solstice Singing Ritual

Sunday 20th December

6-8 pm UT/GMT

(7 pm Central European, 1 pm EST, 10 am PST)

== To sign up ==

Message me on Facebook, or email me if you have my email address.

== Copies of the book and CD ==

You do not need to own a copy of this in advance, but the book contains all the sheet music, and the CD contains full recordings of all 15 pieces, as well as teaching tracks for 8 (as well as the full Celebration), so it's very, very useful.

If you live in Europe and want a copy for £14 + postage, you can get one from me.

If you live in the US and want a copy, the person to contact is my co-author Julie Forest Middleton; I can put you in touch.

== How do I know without knowing more about the music itself? ==

The songs are a mix of rounds, well-known songs, spirituals, feminist spirituality chants and Pagan chants, and a couple of choral pieces.

There's detailed information about every song at tinyurl.com/wintersolsticesinging/for-singers. 

I'm looking forward to singing with people from a wide range of places in the Northern Hemisphere! 

== Open to people of all genders ==

EDITED TO ADD, because this has come up a bit with people who don't know me personally, and I'd neglected to say it explicitly: 

Both the choir and the Celebration are open to people of all genders.  Transgender, non-binary, and genderqueer people are explicitly welcome.  

* The music I have is written mostly in treble clef and is labeled for sopranos and altos, but I've worked with tenors and basses over the last several years, and these pieces adapt well for lower voices as well. 

* Anyone can sing any part on any song that works for their voice.  You might sing a part labelled one way for one piece, and a part labelled a different way on another.  You can also choose to sing all one voice part if that's what works for you.  We have lots of flexibility.

New shawl design

 I have been making this crocheted blanket:

http://www.feltedbutton.com/2014/03/spring-into-summer-with-free-crochet.html

...a lot for baby blankets over the last... (checks Ravelry) year and some.

I've also been modifying it for scarves, a rectangular blanket, and, most recently, a shawl.

For the shawl, it was a mash-up of this pattern with another pattern I'd developed myself, which creates a shawl in an equal-armed L, or right-angled V. 

The original shawl's dimensions are essentially five blocks of X" square each, so that it's three squares in each direction.  I tend to use 18" squares. 

I started in the corner, as for the blanket -- (1) on the diagram below. 

I continued until I'd reached the point where the sides of the triangle were each twice 18" (18" being my square size / basic unit of measure for this shawl) -- (2) on the diagram below.  

Then I determined where the half-way point of the long edge, or working edge, was, and put a stitch marker there.

I continued from where I was, stopping when I reached the stitch marker -- turning and decreasing on the "inside," and turning and increasing on the "outside."

When the "outside" / increase edge got to 3 x 18", I started decreasing on both sides.

Then I went back to the other arm, and did the same thing there. (No seams necessary!)

It was a lot of fun to make, and I'm looking forward to experimenting with this some more.  If you try this modification, I hope you have fun and like the resulting shawl!  Enjoy. 

Julie Passanante Elman’s Tips for Supporting Shy/Introverted Students

(c) Julie Passanante Elman; re-printed with permission. 

I have done a few things with success. On the first day of class, I talk about shyness and other communication differences in my discussion of accessibility. I talk about how gender, race, sexuality, age, etc. affect our capacities and confidence in entering a conversation, and then we talk about how discussion classes often favor chatty folks or assertive communicators smile emoticon. Then, I ask them to come meet with me in private, if they're introverted or have other access needs, and we talk about it. I suggest things that I've done in the past, but I tell them that the first thing is to figure out what is most intimidating about speaking in class (i.e. bad former experiences, fear of being called on unpredictably, fear that creeps in when your hand is raised for too long, or fear of being inarticulate, etc.). Then we tailor a solution (my class always includes nonverbal forms of participation too), and here are a few examples:

1) I will only call on you if you raise your hand.

2) Email me a question ahead of time. I'll ask it, and call on you. No one will know, and you'll have your response prepared so you can speak from notes.

3) I'll call on you immediately if your hand is raised, so you won't lose your nerve.

I tell them to observe my teaching style and build trust. I don't let people dangle smile emoticon. I can spin each comment into something useful. So, if it's a matter of trusting that a prof treats comments respectfully because you've had a negative experience, that trust can only be built with time. So I tell them we can meet in a month and reassess. I tell them that oral participation is important so that other students can gain access to their valuable thoughts. I give them the option of not speaking for the semester, because I give participation credit for visiting office hours, talking to me after class, and active listening, but I try to establish that their comments are vital to collective learning. I spent a lot of time neglecting introverts in my classroom because I misunderstood their lack of participation as a lack of care about the class. That was a shortcoming as a teacher that I've really worked on over the years. In my experience, many shy students don't take an accommodation, but they end up talking anyway, because all they needed was for someone to validate their intelligence and understand that it was more difficult for them than more extroverted students. Hope this helps!

Most importantly (and I didn't say this in the original post), I try to make it clear that the goal is NOT for them to work harder to be more like extroverts. In many ways, that is precisely the cure/rehabilitation model that I try to push against in my pedagogy (i.e. the problematic cultural idea that shyness or introversion is pathological or less valuable than extroversion). Rather, it's to strive for an accessible classroom and pedagogy that encourages students to claim their education (as Adrienne Rich would say!) by figuring out, with me, what they need to grow and flourish.

 :) 

Making Ripples at FGC Gathering!

Photo from Flickr user gettheshot75

Hello, folks!

I wanted to let you know that I'm helping with the group creation of what looks to be a fabulous, experiential plenary at FGC Gathering this year, "Making Ripples," under the fabulous creative direction of Vonn New.

Currently I'm up to my eyebrows in collaborative labyrinth design.  *happy creative hum*

If you're in reach of Niagara University in NY state on Wednesday, 5 July, from 7:00-8:45 pm, you are invited!

Making Ripples:

Come listen, play, sing, move, dance, and make a joyful noise as we lift up the creative spirit of Friends young and old to perform an original spontaeous composition that reminds us that beauty, joy, peace, and love are the true antidotes to our turbulent times. Join us as we move into an evening of collaborative improvisation for all ages led by Vonn New and her team and, as we're led, by all of us!

https://www.fgcquaker.org/events/making-ripples

 Call for volunteers:

Call for Volunteer Helpers & Collaborators

Contact: Vonn New, select "Making Ripples Wednesday Plenary" on the Gathering Contact Form.

Making Ripples, the program for the Wednesday evening plenary is a fully participatory evening of music, dance, reflection and community.  As Friends, we did away with the laity to lift up the ministry of all, during this program, we will eliminate the audience.

Folks who are into visual art, labyrinths, musical improvisation, herding cats, eldering, singing, dancing, helping make experiences accessible to all, and generally being helpful are all needed to pull this off. Please contact Vonn New if you want to help. (Select "Making Ripples Wednesday Plenary" on the Gathering Contact Form.)

Bellwethers - lead by example, assist in directing participants, deploying instruments and props during the event and attend a practice session beforehand, engage in fun artsy exercises in the weeks leading up to Gathering.

Manager - help coordinate the other teams, assist with problem-solving before, during, and after the event, stomp out procrastination.

Accessibility Team - advise me on how to best make the event accessible to everyone, help make that happen.

Set Up/Tear Down Team - set up chairs, props, and more before and after the event

Instrumental Musicians - participate in musical improvisation during the event and attend a practice session beforehand

Singers - participate in improvisation during the event and attend a practice session beforehand.

Dancers & Creative Movement Team - perform improvised dance as led, assist in creating and leading participant movement, attend a practice session beforehand

Visual Artists - assist in making performance space beautiful, help create beautiful instruction cards, assist in hosting participatory public art to make cards and props beforehand, help with costuming and other aesthetic ideas

Textile Artists - assist in making performance space beautiful, help create dance props, costuming ideas

Elders - provide spiritual grounding during the event, hold our preparations in the Light, provide accompaniment to this ministry

https://www.fgcquaker.org/connect/gathering/programs-and-events/evening-programs/making-ripples-volunteering

The contact form is here:
https://www.fgcquaker.org/connect/gathering/gatheringcontact

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p.s  How could I leave these bits out???

Come join our Facebook group!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/644929179037375/

See the master plan here, with everything there is to know so far about what will happen Wednesday night:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1RkkdqZdCywjiGKlut1q1LjICSXzX9mzYnSsralHDLF4/edit

For Veterans' Day and Remembrance Sunday

It’s 3:45 am when my pager wakes me. I speak to a man who is quite upset: his sister has just died – at the end of a long illness, but unexpectedly soon – and his sister’s son is on active duty in the military, stationed overseas...

Read more:
http://aquakerwitch.blogspot.co.uk/2009/05/peace-testimony-and-armed-forces.html

(c) 2009 Nankai; used with permission

 (White poppies are worn in the UK to remember all who have died in armed conflict, not limited to soldiers and military service members.  For more information, see http://www.ppu.org.uk/whitepoppy/index.html.)

Katrina, 10 Years Later -- part I

Hurricane Katrina satellite view, 28 August 2005*

The ten-year anniversaries of Hurricanes Katrina, Rita, and Wilma have been much on my mind lately.

In August, 2005, our family had just moved to the Midwest.  I'd grown up in hurricane country and had lived most of my life in majority-minority cities.  I spent the days before Katrina's landfalls tracking the storm on weather websites and anxiously listening to the news.

I spent the days after Katrina hit, like so many people, getting more and more angry, desperately wanting to Do Something.

Hurricane Rita, satellite view, 5 September 2005*

I spent Hurricane Rita in Montgomery, Alabama, stranded with hundreds of other disaster relief volunteers in a big box store converted to volunteer staff shelter.  We were incredibly frustrated at being stuck there instead of being out in the field, and given how impossible things already were for Katrina survivors, we were worried about how much worse they were getting.

When it was safe enough to travel -- still lots of wind and rain, but lower winds and fewer tornadoes -- I was assigned to go to a newly-opened service center in Jackson, Mississippi as a family services caseworker.  There, my volunteer colleagues and I worked with thousands of hurricane survivors every day -- for weeks.  Many of the people we saw had been displaced twice -- they'd lost everything and been forced to move to another part of the country, then they lost what replacements they'd been able to scramble and were forced to move again.

One of the things I remember most about that time is the incredible people I met and worked with, over and over and over.  The other volunteers.  The survivors.  The National Guard service members, local law enforcement, firefighters, and paramedics.  The people who offered their workplace for our volunteer staff shelter, and tried to make it as homey as possible.

The way people pulled together to pull together.

--------------------------

It is vitally important to lift up recognition of the structurally racist nature of emergency planning and response by local and federal officials in the Gulf Coast region before, during, and after hurricane season 2005.   Yes, natural disasters generally affect people who are poor, people with disabilities, and people of color harder than they affect non-disabled middle-class white people.  But with Katrina especially, that disproportionate impact was so. much. greater.  It was, and still is, very hard not to see that as almost deliberate -- as the logical consequence of a long, long series of racist decisions and choices.

Black lives matter, dammit.  

Other people, especially people of color, have written about this much better than I can, and I encourage you to seek out what they have to say. Especially about the roots and the long-term effects of that racist decision-making. 

--------------------------

I know I have more to write about that time, but none of it is quite here yet.  In the meantime, while that's brewing, here are two excerpts from other things I've written in the past: 

At the five-year anniversary: 

Five years ago, we had just moved to the Midwest, and I was listening to the news coverage after Hurricane Katrina and getting angrier and angrier.

Well, that had happened after September 11th, too; and then, the Red Cross had desperately needed help, too.  So I'd taken my three community service days from work and answered phones at the SE PA Red Cross.  It wasn't glamorous, but it freed up trained people to go out in the field and deal with local disasters like house fires.  And it gave me something constructive to do.  Which was better than listening to people bitch all day at work about how we should, in fact, bomb Afghanistan back into the Stone Age.

So when I was getting pissed off after Katrina, I called the local Red Cross in Michigan, thinking I'd answer phones again. 

They asked me to go to the Gulf Coast and do Family Services / Client Services.  Case management.

And I did.

And it was an amazing experience.

I didn't have time to write much about it, and when I got back home, I left almost immediately for a family funeral; but I did write some.  And I also wrote a little in my article for Friends Journal. 

Excerpt from my Friends Journal article, "The Peace Testimony and Armed Forces Emergency Services":

As a Friend, I first got involved with the Red Cross through Disaster Services just after September 11, 2001. Like so many of us, I had a deep need to do something – something to help, and something that expressed the Peace Testimony. What I did was answer phones, all day, every day. It wasn’t glamorous, but it was needed, and it freed up experienced, trained volunteers to go out in the field.

After Hurricane Katrina, I again found myself raging at the news, and again felt that need to do something. So I thought I’d go answer phones again. But because I have experience as a pastoral counselor and case manager and the need was so great, the local Chapter asked me to go to the Gulf Coast instead.

Five weeks after the disaster, at just one service center, in just one town, my fellow volunteers and I saw and spoke with thousands of people every day. None of us could “fix” anything for them. True, we could help them apply for financial assistance. True, we could try to connect them with services. But we couldn’t repair their lives.

Mostly, what we could do was just be there with them.

It turned out our simple presence meant much more than financial assistance to many people.

“You came from where? To be here with us?”

“But you’re not getting paid?!”

“What about your family?”

“Thank you for coming down here.”

“I haven’t told anybody what happened, and it’s been more than a month.”

“We thought nobody cared about us.”

I already knew what a difference it made for me to have someone simply be with me when I was going through hard times. In Mississippi, I learned yet again that bearing witness is sacred work.

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Hurricane Wilma, satellite view, 19 October 2005*

*

Hurricane Katrina, 28 August 2005.  By Jeff Schmaltz, MODIS Rapid Response Team, NASA/GSFC (http://visibleearth.nasa.gov/view_rec.php?id=7938) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Hurricane Rita, 5 September 2005.  By Jacques Descloitres, MODIS Rapid Response Team, NASA/GSFC (http://visibleearth.nasa.gov/view_rec.php?id=7957) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Hurricane Wilma, 19 October 2005.  By NOAA Satellite and Information Service [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Summer Solstice with the Sisters: You are fabulous, and the Goddess adores You

Tomorrow (Saturday, 20 June, 2015) is Summer Solstice in the northern hemisphere, and also Pride Edinburgh 2015.  Here is something I wrote after last Summer Solstice and 2014 Pride.  - sm

Saturday was Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year.  Summer Solstice is also connected for me, both in time and theme, with LGBTQ pride festivals.  And where I live, this Saturday was also the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride Festival.

A friend of mine who's a Novice with the Order of Perpetual Indulgence had asked me if I'd hench (act as a henchperson) with the Sisters for Pride.  I said yes.

So I spent Summer Solstice with the Sisters at Pride.  It was pretty fabulous.  I carried bags, took pictures, helped herd people when instructed, danced in the parade (who knew this would be part of my job?), helped a Sister with a wardrobe problem, helped set up for tea, served food, welcomed people, had lovely conversation with other henches, and shared lots of smiles with everyone there from the Order and all sorts of random other people. At the end of the day, I was very tired and very content.

It was surprisingly simple and satisfying ministry.

It was also pretty close to exactly what my soul needed.  I came home very tired physically, and spiritually re-invigorated for everything on my plate these next few weeks, including my FLGBTQC co-clerks email (I'm about to start a term as Recording Clerk) and a Roses, Too! Tradition Summer Solstice Celebration on Sunday.

---------

In ecofeminist Witchcraft, a lot of what the Sabbats are about is what's happening in nature around us, where we are, right now. 

Some things to think about with Summer Soltice:

• What's happening with the light?  What time does the Sun rise?  What time does it set?  How many hours of daylight and of darkness are there right now, where you live or where you are? 
• What's happening with plants?  What plants are growing, have bloomed and are done, are blooming or fruiting now, are yet to bloom or fruit?  What foods are available that haven't been yet this year, that won't be again soon? 
• What's happening with the weather?  What are the temperatures like?  Has the pattern of rain (or snow!) changed since Beltane or Spring Equinox?  
• What's happening with animals?  Where are different animals where you live in their life cycles?  Who's migrating right now? 

There are other possibilities. 

One of the easiest ways to engage with what's happening in nature right now on this longest day is to track sunrise and sunset.  You can figure out ways to measure this yourself, especially if there are children in your life; you can look up when sunrise and sunset are where you live, or where you are. (You can do both!) 

The US Naval Observatory has several very useful data tools on their website, http://aa.usno.navy.mil/data/index.php.  Here you can look up sun and moon data for one day or for the whole year. 

TimeAndDate.com also have all sorts of interesting astronomical data available, and on their web page, you can look up sun and moon data for a day, a month, a year, and more: http://www.timeanddate.com/astronomy/.

Have fun!

---------

How did you spend Summer Solstice?  How are you honoring it?  

As someone who is lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, or an ally, how are you celebrating Pride? 

How are you celebrating and honoring social justice and work for social justice in your life right now?  

---------

Remember, you are fabulous, and the Goddess adores you.

Thou art Goddess. 

Winter Solstice 2014?

I am looking for people anywhere in the world who would be interested in doing a Winter Solstice Celebration based on A Winter Solstice Singing Ritual, privately with a small group of friends / family. Think, getting together in someone's living room, using the CD or an iPod for the music, and sharing the reading. Five is a good minimum number, though I've done it with fewer -- you can do it by yourself -- and as far as I know there is no maximum number. Support and encouragement available from me.

Let me know if you're interested!

More information is available at TinyURL.com/WinterSolsticeSinging.

There's also a Facebook group for people who are involved in this project at http://www.facebook.com/groups/AWSSR/.

Being in community: talking about dying and death

I am sitting on the patio, doing preparation for the workshop I'm leading this weekend on what happens before we can fill out all the end-of-life forms.  I'm listening to the birds and watching a front come in.  I just checked the pressure map, yep, there it is -- a cold front with a low-pressure system behind it...

The summer before last -- 2013 -- I facilitated a conversation at my Local Meeting about dying and death.  It started out as a report from two trips the Meeting supported me in making to Woodbrooke Quaker Study Centre, one for a course on Creating Support for End of Life and Bereavement, one for the twice-annual gathering of QDD, the Quaker Concern Around Dying and Death, and about why I'd wanted to go in the first place -- my long-standing ministry around dying and death.  It expanded to a more general conversation about needing and wanting to talk about dying and death, and not being sure how to start.  It became clear people really are hungry for more spaces, safe spaces, to talk about this.

I talked to my elder for this talk and another Local Meeting person involved with QDD, and the three of us got together and planned a day-long follow-up session for March.  That session ended up being about how we make the decisions that need to be made before we can fill out all those end-of-life planning forms -- the Quaker funeral wishes forms, advance decisions / advance directives, etc. -- and how we care for those who are left behind when we die.  It was sweet and tender and good. 

We were asked to bring it to the Area Meeting.  So I'm leading a similar session / workshop Saturday. 

Sitting here working on the prep, I'm struck by how much I love and enjoy this work.  It's not all grim.  It's not all horrible.  It's funny, it's sweet, it's human, it's real.  It's about being in community with each other and caring for each other.

Lots of other places in my ministry are much more intimidating for me than this...

Labyrinth pictures!

I realized I hadn't posted pictures of any of the labyrinths I'd built!

Enjoy!

2013 Gathering labyrinth

Click here for more pictures from the first labyrinth, at FGC Gathering 2013 in Colorado.

2104 Gathering labyrinth

Click here for more pictures from the labyrinth this last summer at FGC Gathering 2014 in Pennsylvania.

2014 Fall Equinox labyrinth

Click here for more pictures from the labyrinth we built for the Roses, Too! Tradition Fall Equinox ritual here in Edinburgh, Scotland.

Please see my past posts about labyrinths for the back story of how I came to build these labyrinths, and also for how-to help if you'd like to build a temporary labyrinth yourself:
http://aquakerwitch.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/labyrinths

Minute from the Quaker Concern Around Dying and Death

Dear F/friends,

This is combination minute/epistle from the recent gathering of the Quaker Concern Around Dying and Death.  Please feel free to share, and please feel free to ask me about our work.

In Friendship,
Blessed be,
Stasa

QDD Gathering, November 21st-22nd 2013 at Woodbrooke
Helping Children and Young People to face dying and death

Minute

We have explored our own memories and experiences in order to seek a greater understanding of how children and young people may best be supported in facing their bereavements.

We have been led to recognise that we cannot truly hear what children and young people need from us if we do not face our own losses with integrity.

We must be ready to acknowledge the intensity of children’s feelings and to allow a free expression of those feelings rather than stifling what we, as adults, find too disturbing to listen to.

We have learnt that, above all, we must be truthful and loving in preparing children for the facts of loss and death. Children and young people easily blame themselves for the death of a deeply loved relative, especially a parent. We can be gentle but strong in holding children emotionally and spiritually, and maybe, physically, while they make sense of human mortality. We have heard of the aunt who gave lasting comfort by saying, ‘I have known death all my life: there is nothing to be frightened of.’

As flawed human beings ourselves, we may make mistakes because of our own fears, sorrow or confusion; but we must return to the child or young person’s side, maybe with stumbling steps, but not with false promises. 

Through play and stories children and young people explore their confusion and hurt. In these ways they may discover a new understanding and hope however sombre this might seem. At each stage of maturing children and young people may need to visit their loss regularly, by being given the open acceptance of loving adults. We can help children create reservoirs of memories to affirm the friendly presence of the dead person in their lives.

At this Gathering, we have revealed our own vulnerability in a safe, supportive, loving environment, and so enabled each other to explore and accept our own feelings as we move towards healing. This 24 hour Gathering, led by two skilled facilitators, has brought us to a place where we recognise how precious this work is. We have learnt that transformation is possible, a transformation that accepts pain and joy exist together.

We feel more ready to accompany children and young people on their own journeying.

Building the labyrinth, part I: Laying it out on paper

I posted recently about the labyrinth my workshop built at FGC Gathering this summer.  I promised I'd post a detailed how-to; here it is!

Part I: Laying it out on paper

First, draw the seed pattern.  I used this seed pattern, but modified:

Original seed pattern

I wanted fewer right angles, but still the suggestion of a heart shape in the middle from having some right angles.  Here is the modification: 

First modification to seed pattern

 However, if you create a labyrinth just from this, you end up with too many choice points, and not a simple, straightforward labyrinth.  (Go ahead and try it without this next step; you'll see.)  So, I added a line: 

Modified seed pattern

First connection:

One connection

Second connection.  Basically, the connections always go from the next unconnected point on one side to the next unconnected point on the other: 

Two connections

Third connection:

Three connections

 Fourth connection:

Four connections

Fifth connection:

Five connections

Sixth and final connection:

Six connections (all connected)

Next post: how we laid this out on the grass!

Draft of Pattern for V-Shawl in Three Colors

Thank you so much to everyone who volunteered to test this pattern for me!

The draft pattern as a .pdf file is available at http://stasa.net/crochet.

There are pictures (and a link to the pattern) on Ravelry: http://www.ravelry.com/projects/stasa/v-shawl-in-3-colors.

There are also now pictures at http://stasa.net/crochet.

Please post questions, feedback, comments, etc., here as you go along.

Thanks again!  Have fun!

Spiritual practice peer support group invitation

Is there a spiritual practice you'd like to be doing regularly, but that you find you aren't quite managing to do?

I am putting together a free, 12-week virtual peer support group for people who want to engage in a regular spiritual practice and get support from other people.

- Free.
- On-line.
- Runs for 12 weeks.  

- You pick the spiritual practice you want to do.  It can be almost any spiritually-oriented practice or discipline.  It can be something you do by yourself or something you do in a group.  It can be mostly physical or mostly mental, or a mix.  Everyone in the group can have a different spiritual practice.  Since we're checking in weekly, it will be helpful if it's something you can do at least once a week. 

- Once every week, the group checks in about what happened in the past week and to get support from the others in the group.  Did I meet my goal this week?  What worked?  What didn't work?  If I didn't meet my goal, why not?  Was my goal realistic?  Too hard, too easy, just right?  Does my goal need to change?  How?

- Each group will have 13 people maximum. 

- We will do the check-ins on-line, in a locked blog, a private Facebook group, whatever fashion works best for the group.

- People are welcome from a wide range of spiritual traditions, including none at all. 

This 12-week cycle will start Sunday, 1 September and end Sunday, 1 December. 

If you're interested, let me know by leaving a comment or sending me an email at stasa dot website at gmail dot com.

(If you send email and don't hear back, the cyber-gremlins ate it; please try again.)

Labyrinths! Thinking outside the box

At Friends General Conference Gathering this summer, I was scheduled to facilitate an updated version of my workshop "The Goddess Is Alive and Magic Is Afoot."  I was excited, and looking forward to it!

Workshops at FGC Gathering are 13.75 hours, five mornings from 9:00 am to 11:45 pm.  (They used to be 16.5 hours, six mornings.)

My workshop outline called for us to walk a labyrinth on day two.

A number of times over the past ten years or so, someone at Gathering has built a temporary labyrinth on campus.  I was hoping this person, or someone inspired by him, would create a labyrinth this year. But if not, I had a couple of options.  There was supposedly a labyrinth in a church about a mile from this year's campus; I could talk to them and make arrangements for us to go there Tuesday morning.  We could do a spiral walk in our classroom.  We could maybe build a very simple labyrinth in our classroom, with the ever-present blue tape on the carpet.  (I have come to love blue painters' tape.)

I was very sure that building a large outdoor labyrinth was not something we would have time for, and equally sure it was beyond my skill set.

It turns out, I was wrong. Which is a wonderful thing.

About a week and a half before Gathering, I emailed the Gathering Office to find out if anyone was making a labyrinth on campus. No, not this year. 

As I continued finalizing my workshop outline details, I found I wasn't sure I wanted to spend a workshop morning working with an indoor labyrinth in a Christian church.  But I also wasn't really satisfied with any of the alternatives I'd identified, either. 

I posted a query in my social media network for Pagan and Pagan-friendly friends -- here's the situation; here are my options; if you were in this workshop on the Goddess and magic, what would you prefer?  I wasn't looking for anyone to tell me what to do, but I was hoping people's answers would help me sift through all the ideas in my own head and shake something free.

The conversation did way more than that.

A couple people spoke to how walking a labyrinth in a Christian church could be problematic, or work just fine, or both/and.  Someone talked about what a gift it is to the entire Gathering to build a labyrinth.  If my workshop couldn't do it, maybe a Junior Gathering group could.  I started looking at possible labyrinth patterns I could ask someone else to do.  More ideas flowed.  Maybe I and some helpers could do it the day before the workshop started, or the first afternoon of the Gathering.  Maybe we could use a painted dropcloth.  Maybe we could outline it in heavy rope.  Or birdseed.  Or flour or constarch (cornfour) or...  Maybe this.  Maybe that.

Some of the suggestions were completely unrealistic; some were great ideas but not quite "it"... but the whole conversation was super-helpful.  Everybody's contributions got the ideas flowing, and -- most of all -- helped me see I'd been thinking in a box, and that maybe I didn't need to think in that box...

Early in the conversation, one friend shared this video of how to draw a simple Cretan labyrinth, saying (she was right) that she thought I'd be more interested in Cretan ones than Medieval ones:


I suddenly found myself fascinated with drawing labyrinths.  

Later in the conversation, someone shared this page on how to lay out a temporary labyrinth quickly, easily, and with a small group of people:

"Laying Out a Labyrinth," http://www.labyrinthos.net/layout.html

I still didn't see how I could do this in the workshop, but I kept drawing labyrinths.

Then Beloved Wife got home from a professional conference and asked me how my prep was going.  I explained.  She asked more questions.  I showed her my drawings, the video, and the web page.  She studied the how-to.  "Oh, you could totally do this in your workshop, and have plenty of time the same morning to walk it!"  I was dubious at first, but as we talked about it more, I came to the conclusion she was right. 

We played with several different seed patterns.  I wanted something long enough to be interesting, but short enough that we could all walk it in the time needed.  We decided on a seed pattern, and modified it slightly so it would have fewer right angles, and still have the suggestion of a heart-shape in the heart of the labyrinth.

We even laid it out on our living room floor, using ribbon, markers, and really big paper.  It worked!!

I emailed the Gathering Office, apologizing profusely, and said I'd be happy to get in touch with Facilities / Grounds Crew / whoever was appropriate at the University, to find out what it would be all right to use for boundaries -- bird seed, flour, etc.

When I got email back from the Gathering Coordinator, the answer was: I found The Perfect Spot on campus; also, the answer is field paint, and they sold us three cans.  (!!!!!)

(Yes, it's true.  I absolutely had to play with spray paint to build this labyrinth.  Heh heh heh heh.)  (It was wicked fun.)

The afternoon before Gathering started, Beloved Wife and I laid out the seed pattern using tent stakes, a ribbon marked at the appropriate intervals with magic marker, and the field paint.  (This was also a test to make sure I could tolerate the field paint.  It was fine.)

Day two of Gathering, we built the labyrinth in my workshop.  We had a couple of small hitches, but it worked!  Everyone got to participate, either by painting, walking the marker ribbon, making sure the ribbon came around the right pegs without the pegs coming out of the ground, holding space while we did this in a spirit of worship and magic, etc. 

We had just enough space to make aisles that were three feet wide, so people who use wheelchairs or scooters had enough space (and if their chairs or scooters could cope with the grass and the slight slope).  Two of the four trees were outside the labyrinth, two were incorporated; when she had scoped out the space, the Gathering Coordinator was charmed by the idea of including some of the trees, and hoped we would.  Also, and best of all, the space was in shade both morning and afternoon.

Details of how we built it in the next post. 

Now I want to build a labyrinth in our communal back garden at home for Fall Equinox!

Same-sex Quaker marriage minutes?

I am looking for same-sex marriage minutes from larger Quaker bodies, preferably US.  I'm afraid I need them in rather a hurry, as I have just taken on this task, and it has a very quick deadline. 

 

Here are the ones I have so far. If you know of any others, please send them to me as soon as possible. 

 

Thanks so much!!

 

I need larger Quaker bodies, mostly US. I have the following US (and other) Yearly Meetings, from the FLGBTQC collection of marriage minutes (http://flgbtqc.quaker.org/marriageminutes.html):

Yearly Meetings:

• Britain
• Canadian
• Illinois
• North Pacific
• Philadelphia
• South Central
• Sweden