Friend of the Court Briefs in the 8th Circuit

Well, it turned out the brief FLGBTQC signed on to in the US Supreme Court case(s) was not yet the last as we had all hoped: we've also signed onto multi-faith briefs in four cases before the US 8th Circuit Court of Appeals, because filing deadlines in those cases were scheduled before oral arguments in the Supreme Court. 

So it is my privilege to announce that Friends for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Concerns (FLGBTQC) (http://flgbtqc.quaker.org/) joined many other faith groups on friend of the court briefs filed on 26 March by Kramer Levin in four cases coming before the Eighth Circuit Court of Appeals this spring.

The cases are Lawson v Kelly (Missouri), Rosenbrahn v Daugaard (South Dakota), Jernigan v McDaniel (Arkansas), and Waters v Ricketts (Nebraska). 

As ever, the briefs are easy-to-read, enlightening, and encouraging. 

More information about the cases is available from Freedom to Marry at:

• http://www.freedomtomarry.org/litigation/entry/8thCircuit

You can read the briefs here:

• http://stasa.net/resources/quaker-friends-resources/court-briefs 

And also here:

• http://flgbtqc.quaker.org/resources.html#courtBriefs

Congratulations to all the signatories, and gratitude to everyone who has worked so hard on these briefs!  

Friend of the Court Brief Before the US Supreme Court

It is my joy and privilege to announce that Friends for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Concerns (FLGBTQC) (http://flgbtqc.quaker.org/) joined many other faith groups on a friend of the court brief filed on 5 March by Kramer Levin in four Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals cases coming before the US Supreme Court this spring.

The cases are Obergefell v Hodges (Ohio), Tanco v Haslam (Tennessee), DeBoer v Snyder (Michigan), and Bourke v Beshear (Kentucky). 

More info is available here:

• http://www.freedomtomarry.org/pages/marriage-litigation-at-the-6th-circuit

Again I encourage you to read the brief.  There are some changes from the first one two years ago, based on changes in statistics and in case law since then.  The brief is tremendously encouraging to read.  Also, it seems longer than it really is because the list of signatories is so long. 

You can read the brief here:

• http://bit.ly/ObergefellBrief

More information, and a list of briefs, at:
http://stasa.net/resources/quaker-friends-resources/court-briefs

And -- NEW! -- also at:
http://flgbtqc.quaker.org/resources.html#courtBriefs 

Congratulations to all the signatories! And deep gratitude to everyone who worked on this brief, and all the briefs.

We hope this will be the last friend of the court brief we sign on to on the issue of same-sex marriage.  

 It is widely held that, should the Court decide in favor of same-sex marriage, this case will be definitive.

As Friends in Britain say, HOPE SO!  

Friend of the Court Brief in Lopez-Aviles v. Rius-Armendariz

It is my joy and privilege to announce that Friends for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Concerns (FLGBTQC) (http://flgbtqc.quaker.org/) joined many other faith groups on a friend of the court brief filed on 2 February by Kramer Levin in Lopez-Aviles v. Rius-Armendariz, a Puerto Rico marriage equality case before the 1st Circuit Court of Appeals.

More info is available here:

• http://www.freedomtomarry.org/litigation/entry/puerto-rico

Yet again I will tell you that, as with the other Kramer-Levin briefs we've signed on to, I highly recommend reading this.  It's easy to read, and brilliant.  And super-encouraging for people of faith, and people in faith communities, who support marriage equality for same-sex couples -- and also who are working to prevent some faiths from being legally privileged over others.

You can read the brief here:

• http://bit.ly/Lopez-AvilesBrief

More information, and a list of briefs, at:
http://stasa.net/resources/quaker-friends-resources/court-briefs

And -- NEW! -- also at:
http://flgbtqc.quaker.org/resources.html#courtBriefs 

Congratulations to all the signatories! And deep gratitude to everyone who worked on this brief.

Friend of the Court Brief in Brenner v Armstrong and Grimsley v Armstrong

It is my joy and privilege to announce that at the end of December, Friends for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Concerns (FLGBTQC) (http://flgbtqc.quaker.org/) joined many other faith groups on a friend of the court brief filed on 19 December  by Kramer Levin in Brenner v Armstrong and Grimsley v Armstrong, Florida marriage equality cases before the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals. 

More info is available here: 

• http://www.freedomtomarry.org/litigation/entry/11thCircuit
• http://www.freedomtomarry.org/states/entry/c/florida

Yet again I will tell you that, as with the other Kramer-Levin briefs we've signed on to, I highly recommend reading this.  It's easy to read, and brilliant.  And super-encouraging for people of faith, and people in faith communities, who support marriage equality for same-sex couples -- and also who are working to prevent some faiths from being legally privileged over others.

You can read the brief here:
http://bit.ly/BrennerGrimsleyBrief

More information, and a list of briefs, at:
http://stasa.net/resources/quaker-friends-resources/court-briefs

Congratulations to all the signatories! And deep gratitude to everyone who worked on this brief.

The queer surcharge

Let's talk about the queer surcharge for a moment. 

Here's just one example: 

People in mixed-gender legal marriages, how much did it cost you to get married?  I don't mean the ceremony, the reception, and all that stuff -- I mean the marriage license, the legal part, where you went down to city hall or the registry office or wherever and filled out paperwork and got a piece of paper (or several) back.  How much did your marriage license cost?  If a ceremony was a legal requirement for your marriage license to be valid -- it is in some jurisdictions -- then go ahead and add in the cost of a registry office, or justice of the peace, or similar, ceremony. 

Now, how many marriage licenses, or equivalent, have you had to obtain for your current marriage?  For that one marriage, for you to be married to the same person? 

Most of your friends in same-gender marriages, when we've had access to legal recognition of our relationships at all -- through domestic partnerships, civil unions, civil partnerships, or even civil marriage -- have had to do this many times.  Each time we move, each time the law where we live changes, we have to get re-married. 

And it almost always costs money EACH TIME. 

That adds up. 

And we're not even talking about the costs in time, energy, and resources other than money. 

We're also not even talking about other ways which being someone who is lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer costs more money than being someone who is straight does. 

So, allies: something to think about.  Ignorance -- "Gosh, I had no idea!"-- is not an excuse. 

----------

For more information on having to get married over and over and on the queer surcharge, see:

• Do you have to get divorced every time you move?, http://aquakerwitch.blogspot.co.uk/2011/05/do-you-have-to-get-divorced-every-time.html
• At tax time, my second-class citizenship rears up and smacks me in the face, http://aquakerwitch.blogspot.co.uk/2011/04/at-tax-time-my-second-class-citizenship.html 
• Not the National Coming Out Day conversation I expected, http://aquakerwitch.blogspot.co.uk/2009/10/not-national-coming-out-day.html

Friend of the court brief in Smith v Wright

It is my joy and privilege to announce that Friends for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Concerns (FLGBTQC) (http://flgbtqc.quaker.org/) has joined many other faith groups on a friend of the court brief filedon October 4  by Kramer Levin in Smith v Wright, the Arkansas marriage equality case before the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals.  (More info here: http://www.freedomtomarry.org/states/entry/c/arkansas.)

Yet again I will tell you that, as with the other Kramer-Levin briefs we've signed on to, I highly recommend reading this.  It's easy to read, and brilliant.  And super-encouraging for people of faith, and people in faith communities, who support marriage equality for same-sex couples -- and also who are working to prevent some faiths from being legally privileged over others.

You can read the brief here:
http://bit.ly/SmithBrief

Or here:
https://www.scribd.com/doc/241838146/CV-14-427-Faith-Leaders-Amicus-Brief

More information, and a list of briefs, at:
http://stasa.net/resources/quaker-friends-resources/court-briefs

Congratulations to all the signatories! And deep gratitude to everyone who worked on this brief.

Friend of the Court Brief in DeLeon v Perry

It is my joy and privilege to announce that Friends for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Concerns (FLGBTQC) (http://flgbtqc.quaker.org/) has joined many other faith groups on a friend of the court brief filed yesterday by Kramer Levin in DeLeon v Perry, the Texas marriage equality case before the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals.  (More info here: http://www.freedomtomarry.org/litigation/entry/texas.)

As with the other Kramer-Levin briefs we've signed on to, I highly recommend reading this.  It's easy to read, and brilliant.  And super-encouraging for people of faith, and people in faith communities, who support marriage equality for same-sex couples -- and also who are working to prevent some faiths from being legally privileged over other.  

You can read the brief here:
http://bit.ly/DeLeonBrief

More information, and a list of briefs, at:
http://stasa.net/resources/quaker-friends-resources/court-briefs

Congratulations to all the signatories! 

Friend of the Court Brief in Baskin v Zoeller

[UPDATE: Briefs are available to read here.] 

I am pleased and happy to announce that Friends for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Concerns (FLGBTQC) (http://flgbtqc.quaker.org/) has joined many other faith groups on a friend of the court brief filed yesterday by Kramer Levin in Baskin v Zoeller, the Indiana marriage equality case before the 7th Circuit Court of Appeals.  (More info here: http://www.freedomtomarry.org/litigation/entry/indiana.)

As with the other Kramer-Levin briefs we've signed on to, I highly recommend reading this.  It's easy to read, and brilliant.  And super-encouraging for people of faith, and people in faith communities, who support marriage equality for same-sex couples.

Here's a link to the brief:
http://bit.ly/BaskinBrief

Yay!  And congratulations to all the signatories!

Blessed be.

Friend of the Court Brief in Kitchen v. Herbert

[UPDATE: Briefs are available to read here.] 

I am very pleased and happy to share that Friends for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Concerns has joined many other faith groups on a friend of the court brief filed today by Kramer Levin in Kitchen v. Herbert, the Utah marriage equality case before the 10th Circuit Court of Appeals. 

I'll write a more detailed blog post about it tomorrow, with a link to the brief and all. 

The Utah court cited the prior briefs from Kramer Levin in the Windsor and Perry cases, to which we were also signatories, which was hugely significant. 

Yay!  And congratulations to all the signatories!

And thank you all, everyone who helped me with marriage minute information and contacts for faith communities in the area of the 10th Circuit who support same-sex marriage.  It helped. 

Blessed be!

UPDATED:  Here is a link to the brief: http://bit.ly/KitchenBrief

Faith communities and individuals supporting marriage equality in Utah and surrounding areas?

Dear friends,

I am looking for faith/religious groups and individuals who support same-sex marriage / marriage equality, in the following areas in the US:  

• Utah
• Oklahoma
• additionally, Colorado, New Mexico, Kansas, and Wyoming

I am particularly looking for Quaker, Unitarian Universalist, and Jewish groups and individuals, but individuals and groups from ANY faith tradition/religion would also be helpful.  

(This is a request related to some work I'm doing with a third-party group in that area.)

Please let me know of any groups or individuals in that area. I need to turn this around in about a week. 

Thanks so much!

Urgent: final vote for the Marriage and Civil Partnership Bill (Scotland)

The final vote for the Marriage and Civil Partnership Bill (Scotland) is on 4 February.

If you live in Scotland, please (please, please) contact MSPs and ask them:
1) to vote for Scotland's Equal Marriage bill and
2) to reject any negative amendments.

You can do so through this link:
http://www.equalmarriage.org.uk/itstime

As you may know, Quakers, Unitarian Universalists, and many Jewish groups in Scotland have supported this campaign for equal marriage as a matter of religious liberty.

This bill will also make a tremendous difference in the lives of people you know -- including me and Beloved Wife.

So as a personal favor, I ask you to contact MSPs. Thank you.

An open letter to Gavin Brown, MSP

Dear Gavin Brown,

Over the weekend, "Scotland for Marriage" put a horrible pamphlet through our letter slot urging residents in our area (Newington/Grange) to contact you about proposed equal marriage. 

The pamphlet is full of fear-mongering and threats.  A more accurate name for this group would be "Scotland for Marriage Discrimination." 

I am writing to tell you that our family support equal marriage.  We find this to be a matter of civil liberty and religious liberty. 

People's rights should never be subject to popular vote.  Homophobia should not be protected legally. 

I direct your attention to several responses to both consultations by religious groups who wish to perform same-sex marriages as a matter of religious liberty.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Best wishes,
Stasa Morgan-Appel

------------------------

UPDATE:  I received the following email from the Equality Network, whom I had notified about the flier campaign.  - sm

Hi Stasa,

Thank you for bringing this to our attention. 

We have been made aware of similar leaflet campaigns in other areas across Scotland.

The Equality Network is encouraging supporters of equal marriage to contact their MSPs using our online email tool: http://www.equalmarriage.org.uk/takeaction 

In the coming months, as the Marriage and Civil Partnership (Scotland) bill is introduced to the Scottish Parliament, we will be launching a new campaign drive to ensure that the voice of those supporting equal marriage is not lost.

Unfortunately we do not have the level of funding that Scotland for Marriage are able to utilise to produce and distribute their mass leaflet campaign. We know that Scotland for Marriage have, by their own admission, spent at least £60,000 and possibly a lot more on their campaign against lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) equality.

In contrast, the Equality Network has only been able to spend a fraction of this amount as we rely on individual donations to fund the Equal Marriage campaign.

Please encourage your friends to contact their MSPs, and if you are interested in fundraising for the campaign do let us know and we'll do what we can to support your efforts!

Thanks for your help!

Best wishes,

Tom

Tom French

Policy Coordinator,

EQUALITY NETWORK

www.equality-network.org

www.equalmarriage.org.uk

E: tom@equality-network.org

T: 0131 467 6039 

M: 07502 214 598

Tw:@equalmarriage

 

The Equality Network is a company limited by guarantee (SC220213) and a registered Scottish charity (SC037852) both at 30 Bernard Street, Edinburgh, EH6 6PR.  

Take action for Equal Marriage:

http://www.equalmarriage.org.uk/

You can now donate directly to the Equality Network's Equal Marriage campaign: 

Online: http://www.justgiving.com/equalmarriage 

Mobile: Text 'LGBT77 £10' to 70070 

Friends (Quakers) for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Concerns Endorses Friend of the Court Briefs in Two Supreme Court Cases -- Announcement

[UPDATE: Briefs are available to read here.] 


Friends for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Concerns (FLGBTQC) has signed friend of the court briefs filed filed by law firm Kramer Levin on behalf of a range of religious organizations in two cases before the US Supreme Court this term.

From the announcement by Kramer Levin:

Kramer Levin has filed a pair of amicus briefs on behalf of a broad-based coalition of religious organizations in the historic LGBT rights cases now pending in the U.S Supreme Court...

Confronting and rebutting arguments by religious supporters of DOMA and Proposition 8 purporting to state a uniform religious position on marriage, the briefs document the growing range of religious traditions that respect the dignity of lesbian and gay people and their families; solemnize or otherwise honor their relationships; and support civil marriage equality. And stressing the distinction between religious and civil marriage, the briefs make clear that respecting the marriage rights of same-sex couples will not impinge upon religious beliefs, practices, or operations, but rather will prevent one set of religious beliefs from being imposed through civil law.

http://www.kramerlevin.com/Kramer-Levin-Files-Briefs-in-Historic-Supreme-Court-LGBT-Rights-Cases-02-27-2013/

The entire announcement is well worth reading.  

From the briefs:

Amicus curiae
Friends for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Concerns (“FLGBTQC”) is a faith community within the Religious Society of Friends. FLGBTQC deeply honors, affirms, and upholds that of God in all people. 

Links:

• Friends for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Concerns: http://flgbtqc.quaker.org/
• FLGBTQC Collection of Marriage Minutes: http://flgbtqc.quaker.org/marriageminutes.html
• Info at the Supreme Court website: http://www.supremecourt.gov/docket/DOMPRP8.aspx
• The Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), at question in US v Windsor: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defense_of_Marriage_Act
• California's Proposition 8, at question in Hollingsworth et al v Perry et al: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/California_Proposition_8
• Kramer Levin announcement: http://www.kramerlevin.com/Kramer-Levin-Files-Briefs-in-Historic-Supreme-Court-LGBT-Rights-Cases-02-27-2013/
• Kramer Levin brief for Windsor case: http://www.kramerlevin.com/files/Publication/909bbf32-d359-4545-8429-062418acf8ac/Presentation/PublicationAttachment/e9b8e654-0b45-474c-bc64-079710fa0583/Windsor%20Religion%20Brief.pdf
• Kramer Levin brief for Perry case: http://www.kramerlevin.com/files/Publication/909bbf32-d359-4545-8429-062418acf8ac/Presentation/PublicationAttachment/5ba021d4-1733-417e-acc3-077dd49888e3/Perry%20Religion%20Brief.pdf
• Tracking the Windsor case at SCOTUSblog: http://www.scotusblog.com/case-files/cases/windsor-v-united-states-2/
• Tracking the Perry case at SCOTUSblog: http://www.scotusblog.com/case-files/cases/hollingsworth-v-perry/
• Tracking the Windsor case at GLAD: http://www.glad.org/doma/documents/

(Please note, not all the briefs filed in these cases have been uploaded to all the tracking websites yet.)

Please see related post "Friends (Quakers) for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Concerns Endorses Friend of the Court Briefs in Two Supreme Court Cases -- Details" at http://aquakerwitch.blogspot.com/2013/03/friends-quakers-for-lesbian-gay.html  

Friends (Quakers) for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Concerns Endorses Friend of the Court Briefs in Two US Supreme Court Cases -- Details

[UPDATE: Briefs are available to read here.]

I recently attended the Mid-Winter Gathering of Friends for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Concerns (FLGBTQC).

During our first Meeting for Worship with Attention to Business, one of our co-clerks brought a two-fold request to us from the law firm Kramer Levin, regarding friend of the court (amicus) briefs they were preparing to file in two civil same-sex marriage cases:

• One, could we provide them with information on any policies from the Quaker equivalents of, for example, dioceses, supporting equal marriage for same-sex couples?
• Two, would we endorse the briefs (become a signatory to the friend of the court briefs), with the understanding that they were not sure that, if we said yes, they would be able to use our name, that our name might not appear after all?

I agreed to serve on the committee looking at both these issues and bringing a recommendation back to Meeting for Worship with Attention to Business.

Co-Clerk had, I believe, already explained about Quakers' lack of dioceses, and so we set about finding information on the Yearly Meeting level -- much of which FLGBTQC already has compiled in our Collection of Marriage Minutes. Without disclosing why, I also posted electronic requests for information from other Yearly Meetings, to which a number of Friends who were not at Mid-Winter Gathering responded with resources.

When our committee met, several of us sat down to work our way through the draft brief to make sure we understood it before making a recommendation. Thankfully, it was very readable.

It was also, simply, a pleasure to read. The authors went through through many of the arguments set forth in briefs already filed in the cases in opposition to same-sex civil marriage, and just demolished them, simply and clearly, without ever being insulting; I was impressed.

You can read an outline of these arguments in this announcement, and you can read the originals of the briefs here and here. I highly recommend doing both -- as I said, the briefs are very readable -- but do read at least the announcement.

(It turns out I kept sending many people at the committee table into gales of laughter by blurting out, "Oh my gosh! This is brilliant!" over and over while I was reading.)

The law firm had also clearly done some good background research on Friends; we had a few factual corrections we asked them to make, but by and large they "got it right."

We took a summary and a recommendation for endorsement to Meeting for Worship with Attention to Business, where it was approved.

However, no matter how excited or happy I was, or how brilliant the draft brief, I couldn't talk about it, because until the brief was filed, it was client confidential.

Kramer Levin filed the briefs Thursday, 28 February, 2013 (yesterday)!

Here's Kramer Levin's announcement:

• Kramer Levin Files Briefs in Historic Supreme Court LGBT Rights Cases

http://www.kramerlevin.com/Kramer-Levin-Files-Briefs-in-Historic-Supreme-Court-LGBT-Rights-Cases-02-27-2013/

I highly recommend reading the announcement itself for a nice summary of the briefs' arguments.

I was also struck very much at the time by the parallels to the arguments of Friends in Britain regarding same-sex marriage, particularly General Meeting for Scotland's response in November of 2011 to the Scottish Government's Consultation on same-sex marriage. General Meeting for Scotland's statement is here; Britain Yearly Meeting's statements on same-sex marriage in general are here.

• The brief for Hollingsworth v Perry (the CA Prop 8 case)

http://www.kramerlevin.com/files/Publication/909bbf32-d359-4545-8429-062418acf8ac/Presentation/PublicationAttachment/5ba021d4-1733-417e-acc3-077dd49888e3/Perry%20Religion%20Brief.pdf

• The brief for US v Windsor (the DOMA case from NY State)

http://www.kramerlevin.com/files/Publication/909bbf32-d359-4545-8429-062418acf8ac/Presentation/PublicationAttachment/e9b8e654-0b45-474c-bc64-079710fa0583/Windsor%20Religion%20Brief.pdf

There are so many reasons I'm excited about these two briefs, but here are a few:

1. I had a very small but direct impact on some of the content of the brief. (I mean, holy shit.)
2. It's a bunch of religious groups saying not only do DOMA and Prop 8 infringe on our religious freedom, but marriage equality does not infringe on any other religious groups' religious freedom, in spite of all their arguments.
3. It demolishes all those arguments just brilliantly.
4. A religious group I'm part of is a signatory / amicus curiae.

More briefs

If you'd like an amazing experience, grab a hankie and do a news search in your favorite search engine for "marriage briefs" or "DOMA briefs."

You will find reports of briefs supporting same-sex marriage from a huge array of groups and individuals -- religious groups, employers, unions, NFL players, advocacy groups, US states, doctors and psychologists, the Department of Justice, Democrats, Republicans, and more.

That's just not something I ever thought I'd see in my lifetime.


Following the cases

Here are a couple of places to follow the cases:

• SCOTUSblog on US v Windsor (DOMA): http://www.scotusblog.com/case-files/cases/windsor-v-united-states-2/

• SCOTUSblog on Hollingsworth et al v Perry et al: http://www.scotusblog.com/case-files/cases/hollingsworth-v-perry/

• GLAD (Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders): http://www.glad.org/doma/documents

(Please note they're still catching up on linking all the briefs on all of these pages.)


Related announcement

Please see related post "Friends (Quakers) for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Concerns Endorses Friend of the Court Briefs in Two Supreme Court Cases -- Announcement" at http://aquakerwitch.blogspot.com/2013/03/friends-quakers-for-lesbian-gay_4.html.

Same-sex Quaker marriage minutes?

I am looking for same-sex marriage minutes from larger Quaker bodies, preferably US.  I'm afraid I need them in rather a hurry, as I have just taken on this task, and it has a very quick deadline. 

 

Here are the ones I have so far. If you know of any others, please send them to me as soon as possible. 

 

Thanks so much!!

 

I need larger Quaker bodies, mostly US. I have the following US (and other) Yearly Meetings, from the FLGBTQC collection of marriage minutes (http://flgbtqc.quaker.org/marriageminutes.html):

Yearly Meetings:

• Britain
• Canadian
• Illinois
• North Pacific
• Philadelphia
• South Central
• Sweden

Another reason marriage equality matters for kids

Marriage equality is not only about justice for the adults involved.  It's also about what's best for all our kids: 

With only one legal parent, children in gay households are not entitled to health and Social Security benefits, inheritance rights or child support from the other parent. If a gay couple splits up, only the legal parent has custody rights.

Steven and Roger could re-adopt the kids somewhere else that allows same-sex couples to adopt together, but it is expensive, about $1,500 for each child. Steven says there always seems to be more pressing financial needs.

Read more in this article about how two dads, in a state where they can't marry, co-adopt, or adopt each other's children, finally managed to get both their names on all their children's birth certificates, with some help:

 

Gay dads, 12 kids are officially a family

http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2012/07/26/20120726gay-dads-kids-family.html#ixzz23QHyZGsJ

"To People in my Facebook Circle Who Support Chick-fil-A: Are you my friend?"

by Claudia Ginanni

Before I ask you a serious question about our relationship, I want to make something clear.

I am an ardent defender of the First Amendment, and I think it was wrong--not merely a tactical error, but wrong--for government officials in Boston and Chicago (or anywhere) to suggest that they would use the power of public office to prevent a company from doing business in their cities just because they disagree with the political or religious beliefs of its owners. That's an abuse of power, and they shouldn't have done it.

Now, on to my question.

I am a lesbian. Do you think that means that I'm probably a pedophile?

If the answer is yes, please let me know so I can go ahead and unfriend you. If the answer is no, allow me to explain why I asked.

Chick-fil-A (not Dan Cathy as an individual, but the corporation) has donated millions of dollars to antigay organizations. Among the beneficiaries of this corporate largesse is the Family Research Council, an outfit whose relentless defamation of LGBT people has earned it a spot on the Southern Poverty Law Center's list of hate groups, right alongside the likes of the Ku Klux Klan and the New Black Panther Party (surprised? Yes, the SPLC considers antiwhite rhetoric hate speech, too).

Representatives of the FRC have repeatedly asserted a link between homosexuality and pedophilia, even though numerous studies by reputable social scientists have definitively established, many years ago, that there is no factual basis for this scurrilous claim. That is one of many slanders against LGBT people that the FRC and similar groups repeat endlessly.

If Chick-fil-A continues its past pattern of "charitable" giving, some of the money you spent there Wednesday will eventually fund a propaganda campaign suggesting that I am a promiscuous, sex-crazed pedophile who aims to destroy families. That insulting caricature of me and people like me will be used to justify, among other things, opposition to laws that would prevent me from being fired just because of my sexual orientation, a kind of discrimination that is still perfectly legal in 29 states. I hope you can understand why I'm not giving that a thumbs-up.

And here's my second question: if you don't believe that I'm a pedophile, and there are people going around implying that I am, why aren't you defending me against this slander? Can't I expect that of someone who claims to be my friend?

If you are a Christian who takes the Bible as a moral guide, let me direct your attention to Exodus 20:16, which says, "You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor."

The Bible passages that can be construed as prohibiting homosexuality for Christians are few and obscure, and their interpretation is a matter of dispute among Biblical scholars who have read the text in the original language. But lying and slander are condemned in so many passages in both the Old and New Testaments that it's hard to count them, and the injunction against bearing false witness is one of the Ten Commandments. Shouldn't Christians be outraged by corporate funding of that?

My belief is that bearing false witness made the top-ten list because defamation genuinely injures people, which means that it also violates Jesus' command to love your neighbor as yourself. And I promise you that the calumny against LGBT people perpetrated by the FRC and similar groups has ramifications far beyond denying us the social and material benefits that heterosexual couples get from state recognition of their relationships. It contributes to profound human suffering.

At my age and stage of life, my personal response to the steady stream of insults from groups like these is mostly anger and frustration, but young people who are just discovering their sexuality are deeply vulnerable in the hostile environments this kind of rhetoric creates.

According to the most recent National School Climate Survey, "84.6% of LGBT students reported being verbally harassed, 40.1% reported being physically harassed and 18.8% reported being physically assaulted at school in the past year because of their sexual orientation." The percentage of homeless teens who identify as LGBT is hugely disproportionate, and a large majority of those kids are on the street as a result of having been kicked out of their homes because of their sexuality or gender presentation. They are bombarded with messages telling them that they are disgusting, foul, sinful, unclean, and fundamentally unlovable--is it any wonder LGBT teens commit suicide at five times the rate of straight teens?

Chick-fil-A also funds Exodus, an organization that propounds "reparative therapy," which tries--and fails--to change people's sexual orientation through prayer and faith. Michael Busse, one of the founders of Exodus, renounced this approach several years ago. Busse recently joined three other former Exodus therapists in apologizing for their role in the organization.

"Some who heard our message were compelled to try to change an integral part of themselves, bringing harm to themselves and their families," their statement said."Although we acted in good faith, we have since witnessed the isolation, shame, fear and loss of faith that this message creates." Busse and his colleagues went on to tell some stories that illustrated the heartbreaking results of the deep self-loathing and despair that Exodus treatments create. Confronted with evidence of this failure, Busse repudiated this approach and embraced life as a gay Christian. But Exodus continues to ignore the suffering it has caused.

Unless you read lefty or LGBT media, it's likely that you haven't heard much about the organizations Chick-fil-A supports--the mainstream media has framed the story mostly as a controversy about Dan Cathy's personal views on marriage. But if you've read this far, now you know that some portion of every dollar spent at Chick-fil-A will be used to fund activities that threaten the reputations, dignity, employment rights, and even personal safety of people like me. Are you my friend? Then please don't support those efforts.

(c) 2012 Claudia Ginanni, reprinted with permission

President Obama: "I think same-sex couples should be able to get married"

from the New York Times:
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/10/us/politics/obama-says-same-sex-marriage-should-be-legal.html

WASHINGTON — President Obama on Wednesday ended nearly two years of “evolving” on the issue of same-sex marriage by publicly endorsing it in a television interview, taking a definitive stand on one of the most contentious and politically charged social issues of the day.

“At a certain point, I’ve just concluded that for me personally it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same-sex couples should be able to get married,” Mr. Obama told ABC News in an interview that came after the president faced mounting pressure to clarify his position.

Read more... 

I didn't speak up, and my conscience is ruffled

I didn't speak up.

And now I have that same feeling I do when I was led to speak in Meeting for Worship, or Meeting for Worship with Attention to Business, but didn't.  Or when someone has insulted me, or someone else in my hearing, based on religion, gender, class, or something similar, and I didn't speak up.

My conscience is ruffled, like the surface of a body of water is ruffled when it is disturbed.  This uneasy feeling won't leave me.  I am not at peace.

I was at General Meeting for Scotland.  As I mentioned earlier, Meeting for Business opened with this quote from Britain Yearly Meeting's Faith and Practice:

I have been greatly exercised for some time by the image we like to present of ourselves (albeit with beating of breasts) as a white, middle-class, well-educated group of heterosexual people, preferably in stable marriages with children that behave in socially acceptable ways. I do feel that this is a myth. The danger of such myths is that we exclude many potential Quakers who feel they cannot/do not live up to the image or who feel that such a group is not one with which they wish to be associated. Sadly, many of us within the Society who do not fit in feel marginalised and second-class.

Another effect is that many problems faced by a large proportion of people are seen as separate: people who are poor, facing oppression, living in poor housing, experiencing prejudice are the 'others'. This enables us to be very caring but distant (and sometimes patronising) and also makes it difficult to be conscious of prejudice behind some of the normally accepted assumptions of our society/Society, such as that people who are unemployed are a different group from those who have employment; that poor people are poor ... because they are not as bright or as able as the rest of us or because their limited homes did not give them the opportunities that a good Quaker home would have done; that children living in single-parent families are automatically deprived by that very fact.

Until we as a Religious Society begin to question our assumptions, until we look at the prejudices, often very deeply hidden, within our own Society, how are we going to be able to confront the inequalities within the wider society? We are very good at feeling bad about injustice, we put a lot of energy into sticking-plaster activity (which obviously has to be done), but we are not having any effect in challenging the causes of inequality and oppression. I do sometimes wonder if this is because we are not able to do this within and among ourselves.

Susan Rooke-Matthews, 1993

This spoke to me deeply, and spoke to my condition.  (It also reminded me of this post.)

General Meeting for Scotland "acts on behalf of Britain Yearly Meeting in such procedures as may be required by the Scottish parliament and Scottish legal affairs." A big Scottish governmental item right now is the Scottish Government's Consultation on same-sex marriage.  And so one of the items on our agenda was the General Meeting's response to the this consultation.  (For more information about the consultation on same-sex marriage, click here.)

Friends involved with the working group for the response presented the draft of "A general statement to accompany the response submitted on behalf of The Religious Society of Friends (Quakers), General Meeting of Scotland." 

Beloved Wife and I found this a deeply moving document.  It speaks not only of equality, but also of religious liberty, of conscience, and of not imposing our discernment on other religious faiths.

However, there was one part of it which made my heart pound in a different way.  The very first sentence begins:

"Quakers are a non-hierarchical and Christian body..." 

I was not in unity with this statement.

And I didn't speak up.

...Why didn't I speak up?

I  know that there is a sizable minority of Friends in Britain who are most definitely not Christian.  I am honestly not certain yet if Britain Yearly Meeting or Friends in Britain consider themselves a Christian body or not.  Looking later, I find the Quakers in Britain website states, "The Quaker way has its roots in Christianity and finds inspiration in the Bible and the life and teachings of Jesus" (which can be interpreted as Christian, or as Christian-rooted but not by definition Christian); Britain Yearly Meeting's Faith and Practice Introduction begins, "This book of faith & practice constitutes the Christian discipline of the Yearly Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers) in Britain" (which sounds explicitly Christian to me). 

I am even less certain how Friends in Scotland see themselves.  There's quite a bit of theaological diversity among Friends I've met here, with a lot less fuss about it than in most parts of the States I've lived or traveled in.  A lot of Pagan Friends have come out to me since I've arrived here.  Even more people have told me about other Friends they know who are Pagan, some of whom are in the broom closet, some of whom are out.  A lot of Friends seem very Pagan-friendly without worrying about whether other people will think they're Pagan, which I find tremendously refreshing.  A few Buddhist Friends have also come out to me.  So do Scottish Friends see themselves as primarily Christian, with some non-Christian members?  Do they see themselves as rooted in or springing from Christianity, but with a membership which is diverse in theaology, and that diversity essential to the body?  (A third way?)

The Quakers in Scotland website states, "Quakerism is a non-credal religion, with Christian roots, whose worship is based on silence and listening to the spirit."

(It doesn't say, "...listening to the Inward Christ," which would be clearly Christian, or even, "...listening to God.")

My experience of Quakerism and of Friends in the US and the UK is that Quakerism is not Christian.  I know too many non-Christian Friends: Pagan Friends, Non-Theist Friends, Jewish Friends, Buddhist Friends, not-sure-how-to-label-themselves or not-willing-to-label-themselves Friends, who are not Christian.  I know too many Quaker bodies which do not identify as Christian, though they acknowledge their Christian heritage. The Monthly Meeting and Yearly Meeting in the US where I still have my membership are theaologically diverse, and while in both bodies we acknowledge our Christian roots, we do not identify as Christian.  My Monthly Meeting at one point was clearly led not to renew our membership in an interfaith organization which was restricted to Christian organizations; even though most of our Meeting's members are Christian, many are not, and we felt in good conscience we could not allow ourselves to be identified by others as a Christian church. 

The lived, experiential truth of real-life Friends is that Quakerism is not limited to Christianity.

Therefore, it's not accurate to say Quakers are Christian, or that as a body we are Christian.

Yes, it may be perfectly accurate to say a particular body of Friends is Christian.  If that body is in unity about such a statement.  

But that body cannot speak for all Friends, and cannot speak categorically for Friends.

Whether Quakerism is majority Christian is completely beside the point.

Quakerism is majority straight, white, middle-class, cisgender, and (temporarily) able-bodied, but we would never say, categorically, things like:

• "Quakers are a non-hierarchical body and white body..." (or, "Quakers are a non-hierarchical body of people of European descent...")
• "Quakers are a non-hierarchical and heterosexual body..."

...and so forth.

I, sitting there in that room, a Friend in Scotland to whom that document applied, am not Christian.  And I was not in unity with that statement, "Quakers are a non-hierarchical and Christian body..."  (Not any more than I would have been in unity with any of those other statements above.)

So: why didn't I speak up? 

I had several options in that moment.  I could have asked a clarifying question.  I could have stood aside, not blocking, acknowledging that this was still rightly-ordered for the body even though I was not in unity with it.  If I truly felt that saying "Quakers are a... Christian body" is not true and is a violation of the testimony of integrity for us as a body, that this was doing violence to non-Christian Friends and to all Friends in Scotland General Meeting, I could have gone further, but I would have had to have been very, very clearly led.  (Which I was not; what I was, was deeply uncomfortable.)

I felt deeply uncertain if, in our diversity, Scottish Friends are in unity about being a Christian body. 

So: why didn't I ask? 

I could have found out very easily.  I could have stood up to be recognized by the Clerk, and asked that question: "I know Friends in Scotland are theaologically very diverse and that we have a substantial number of non-Christian members.  Are Friends in Scotland in unity that we are a Christian body?"  

When I put myself back in that room, with my pounding heart and that sinking feeling in my stomach, why didn't I ask, why didn't I speak up?

...I was afraid.

That's really what it was.  I was scared.  

I am so very conscious of being new here, even though I'm a member and even though, well, I'm here; I'm not going anywhere.

I'm so very conscious of being an American, though I'm trying to get over this so I can just listen to the guidance of the Goddess and be who She grows me being.

I'm so very conscious of being an out Pagan Friend, with an out ministry to other Pagan (and non-Pagan) Friends.  I feel exposed.  Back out there dancing on that limb by myself again.

I'd already asked a question that morning, which I felt was misunderstood and taken in a direction I hadn't meant at all.  

There are other areas of my life where I feel criticized for "talking too much."

Most of all, I guess I was afraid of that cascade of things that can happen, that does happen all too often, when I stick my head up as a minority.

Ugh!

Even though the issue we were already talking about was one of justice for a minority among us -- what's more (!), one of which I'm a member, and pretty obviously, too, sitting there holding hands with my wife, who'd also given vocal ministry as a member of a same-sex couple.

I didn't want to go there.  I didn't want those things to start happening.  I didn't want to feel more alone.  I didn't want stand up, expose myself as a further minority within my community, and risk things like being more isolated, having my concerns not heeded or simply not seen, being put down or dismissed because I'm a minority and therefore less/not important/because I'm not Christian and therefore less/not important, being told yet again that of course Quakerism is Christian even if not all Quakers are Christian, or that reality and the truth are too complicated for us to present to outsiders/too complicated for this document/not relevant to this issue...

...As if integrity and the truth are ever too complicated or irrelevant to our testimony and witness in the world and to each other.

And I kept hoping that lovely thing that sometimes happens in worship or worship for business would happen -- you know, where someone else says or brings up something, and then you don't have to.  Every other thing I was at all uncomfortable about in the draft, someone else brought up.  I really hoped someone else could be in the spotlight on this one and I would be off the hook.

It didn't happen. 

I decided to let it go, to trust the working group, to wait and see what I could find later about the supposed Christianity of Friends in Scotland.

My discomfort hasn't gone away, despite my determination to trust the working group and Meeting for Business.  And now I am acutely uncomfortable.  My peace of mind is all rumpled.

The week after General Meeting, a quote attributed to me started making its way around one particular corner of the internet.  It comes from an on-line conversation where I was describing my interpretation of part our discernment in Friends for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Concerns (FLGBTQC) about our changing our name.  I protested it being attributed to me -- I was interpreting, and quoting! -- but I got stuck with it.

"Our fears and other people's prejudices can not determine how we live our witness in the world and among Friends."

I am so busted.

So.  What am I going to do about my disquiet?  

I don't know yet.  Clearly, I need to do something.

In the meantime, I am listening for the Goddess to help me discern what.

And sitting in my discomfort.

And writing about it here.

I find I am feeling all sorts of reluctance to hit the "publish post" button.  I don't think I'm any more eager to post this post than I was to stand up in Meeting for Worship with Attention to Business.

But I very clearly need to.

A new National Coming Out Day conversation?

Two years ago, I posted this article about the National Coming Out Day conversation I'd had: 
"Not the National Coming Out Day conversation I expected"

What really blew my mind, in that on-line conversation two years ago, was how the person involved just plain didn't believe me, and kept insisting I was wrong about my experience -- the taxes I pay that they don't, my legal situation, etc.

How do you think the conversation might be different today, in 2011, instead of 2009?

What's changed over the last two years in allies' consciousness about the reality of daily life as a lesbian, bi woman, gay man, bi man, transgender woman, transgender man, genderqueer person, queer woman, queer man, queer person?

Allies, what's changed for you over the last two years? 

LGBTQ folks, what changes have you noticed in allies' support?