Monday, May 26, 2008
Recommended article: "Rooted in Experience"
I'd like to recommend Cat Chapin-Bishop's guest post at The Wild Hunt blog. Especially for those days when you feel like if you have to listen to one more person tell you about the (theoretical) "one right way" to do something, you really might well scream. Especially if you're longing for a reminder of the magic that can happen when we really do share from the truth of our experience.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
On the curb? In the back yard?
I don't have a sense of how much my regular readers know about some of the struggles I've been engaged in within Quakerism over the last three years, or about how I feel about them.
I certainly wrote about the conflict within Ann Arbor Friends Meeting over renting space to a Pagan Friends Gathering I was helping to organize, but I was fairly circumspect about my own feelings and reactions.
I haven't written much about a conflict in my "home" Meeting, Central Philadelphia Monthly Meeting, over my application for membership. It's still in process (after more than a year), it's so personal, and I am stumped about what to say or how.
I did write about the recent news article on Pagan Friends, and a little about my reaction -- but there's more interesting discussion occurring on other blogs where there's much more comment activity; and in addition, I've kind of thrown my hands up over it all: I'm certainly not in control over what's out there and what people make of it!, and I'm overwhelmed by trying to participate.
But the fact that I haven't talked much about how I feel about different conflicts has meant rarely asking for, and rarely receiving, support in my feelings of isolation.
I say "rarely" rather than "never," because Cat and I have exchanged some supportive blog comments which were quite helpful to me, and because I've had some good discussions on the Jewish Friends and Non-Theist Friends lists in particular. But I haven't talked much about it here.
Cat wrote a post recently, "Thoughts from the Curb," which inspired me to do some work I need to do here.
If Cat moved (did she march? stalk? creep? walk with great dignity?) out to the metaphorical curb, feeling unwelcome in her Quaker house, I fled to the back yard. I'm not sure if I'm up in a tree, or sitting with determined dignity in a lawn chair, but either way, I'm trying to settle into worship, and wishing people would join me. I'd be really happy if they brought the metaphorical family dinner, as they did with Cat. Or perhaps tea and chocolate.
I'm no stranger to controversy. I'm no stranger to spiritual community. But community, and Quaker process, are what help me stay grounded and sane during conflict and controversy, and I've been feeling the lack of immediate community. (Well, and of Quaker process, too, now that I think of it.)
I cannot say how grateful I am for larger Quaker community, especially FGC and FLGBTQC. My work with them, whether in their everyday incarnations or at Gatherings, consistently and surely reminds me that I am a Friend, that Quakerism is my home. Even when there's been conflict there -- at every Gathering, in every time I've gone into the FGC office to do some kind of work or emailed with Friends to do FLGBTQC work, I've been reminded that this is home.
But FGC and FLGBTQC are my more-extended community. Here in my immediate and small spiritual family, I'm feeling the lack of intermediate extended family -- aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews, sisters- and brothers-in-law. (Hmmm. Especially cousins.)
How do I feel about recent controversies?
One, I know Quakerism is my home. Friends' process, Friends' testimonies: these are how I walk with integrity in the world. I am sure and joyful in my ministry, in its different forms, even when I am uncertain.
Right now in particular, I feel like I am crossing a stream, one stone at a time. So far, each stone has been steady; but I don't know if the next one will wobble, or how many stones there are after that, or if they reach the bank. I just know I need to be faithful one step, one stone, at a time. ("Imani, faith.") And I know that the stream and the woods are really, really beautiful.
Two, I know that I am a Witch: I know the Goddess. Leaf, stone, sun, breeze, trickle of water, the Spirit moving among us when we are gathered together in community: I have met Her, I continue to meet Her.
Three... I feel. How do I feel? Lonely, frustrated, hurt, determined, joyful, faithful, sure, uncertain, reassured.
My faith in Quaker process has not been diminished; it only increases during these conflicts. On the other hand, my frustration with an intellectual and emotional mimicry of Quaker process has grown and remains high. It's so obvious, afterwards (and sometimes during), when one has been part of true Friends' process. It's marvelous, even when it's hard work and hard emotionally and spiritually. It's not so obvious when one has been part of what I've heard referred to as "Meeting for Good Ideas," except for a vague feeling of deep disappointment afterwards (and sometimes during).
I am really tired of "Meeting for Good Ideas." Partially because I yearn for the spiritual communion of true Meeting for Worship and Meeting for Worship with Attention to Business. Partially because, in the current controversies of which I am part, there is no room for me in Meeting for Good Ideas.
In Meeting for Good Ideas, I watch people say, with utter conviction, outrageous untruths (and sometimes downright lies) about me and about what they call "people like me." Things they've learned from third parties, not from the Spirit: from gossip; from the internet; from people who actually don't know anything about me or my work personally, but who are queried as "experts." Sometimes folks just plain make stuff up.
So much of what I hear reminds me of what I went through in the late 80s and early 90s as a lesbian. Even within supposedly supportive communities, people would say the most outrageous things as fact. In some spiritual communities, they still do.
Perhaps I need to write an entire separate entry on myth-busting. But for now, a few examples. Lesbians, bi people, gay men, transgender people, and queer folk are not, by inherent condition of being LBGTQ: primarily interested in molesting children; constitutionally incapable of forming long-term, stable relationships; confused; unable to commit; celibate; promiscuous; mentally unstable; etc.
Pagan Quakers, are not, by inherent condition of being Pagan Friends: ignorant of Quaker history; dangerous; unfamiliar with Quaker worship/ process/ testimonies; trying to dilute Quakerism; trying to destroy Friends' process; committed to ritual; not committed to ritual; into killing squirrels; incapable of Quaker worship; confused; unable to commit; etc.
Back to Meeting for Good Ideas. It seems that it takes true worship for there to be room for me.
When I can truly worship with Friends -- not participate in discussion under the guise of worship, but be part of a group that truly asks, "How are we led?" -- then I am not angry and I am not afraid: I am open. If our worship leads to an outcome, by listening deeply -- as ours is a religious tradition of listening spirituality -- by listening deeply, I know we come to an outcome that will work for me. But our worship might not lead to an outcome, and if it does not, then it does not. We are in Friends process.
So, what do I want, what do I need?
Right now, I'd really love it if some folks came out into the metaphorical back yard with me, where I'm feeling lonely, sad, tender, and a little overwhelmed. There's this lovely old, large magnolia tree we can climb together (assuming I can still climb trees in my advanced middle age!), or we can sit together in a circle on the grass, on lawn chairs or cushions or blankets. I'd love it if we sat together in worship for a while. Maybe after, we can have some deep conversation, or worship-sharing. Maybe we can eat together here outside. And maybe when we're done, we can sing together, drum, play instruments. Maybe a few hardy folks will dance.
Maybe we can help each other be faithful. Maybe we can give each other strength.
Maybe we can build community.
I certainly wrote about the conflict within Ann Arbor Friends Meeting over renting space to a Pagan Friends Gathering I was helping to organize, but I was fairly circumspect about my own feelings and reactions.
I haven't written much about a conflict in my "home" Meeting, Central Philadelphia Monthly Meeting, over my application for membership. It's still in process (after more than a year), it's so personal, and I am stumped about what to say or how.
I did write about the recent news article on Pagan Friends, and a little about my reaction -- but there's more interesting discussion occurring on other blogs where there's much more comment activity; and in addition, I've kind of thrown my hands up over it all: I'm certainly not in control over what's out there and what people make of it!, and I'm overwhelmed by trying to participate.
But the fact that I haven't talked much about how I feel about different conflicts has meant rarely asking for, and rarely receiving, support in my feelings of isolation.
I say "rarely" rather than "never," because Cat and I have exchanged some supportive blog comments which were quite helpful to me, and because I've had some good discussions on the Jewish Friends and Non-Theist Friends lists in particular. But I haven't talked much about it here.
Cat wrote a post recently, "Thoughts from the Curb," which inspired me to do some work I need to do here.
If Cat moved (did she march? stalk? creep? walk with great dignity?) out to the metaphorical curb, feeling unwelcome in her Quaker house, I fled to the back yard. I'm not sure if I'm up in a tree, or sitting with determined dignity in a lawn chair, but either way, I'm trying to settle into worship, and wishing people would join me. I'd be really happy if they brought the metaphorical family dinner, as they did with Cat. Or perhaps tea and chocolate.
I'm no stranger to controversy. I'm no stranger to spiritual community. But community, and Quaker process, are what help me stay grounded and sane during conflict and controversy, and I've been feeling the lack of immediate community. (Well, and of Quaker process, too, now that I think of it.)
I cannot say how grateful I am for larger Quaker community, especially FGC and FLGBTQC. My work with them, whether in their everyday incarnations or at Gatherings, consistently and surely reminds me that I am a Friend, that Quakerism is my home. Even when there's been conflict there -- at every Gathering, in every time I've gone into the FGC office to do some kind of work or emailed with Friends to do FLGBTQC work, I've been reminded that this is home.
But FGC and FLGBTQC are my more-extended community. Here in my immediate and small spiritual family, I'm feeling the lack of intermediate extended family -- aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews, sisters- and brothers-in-law. (Hmmm. Especially cousins.)
How do I feel about recent controversies?
One, I know Quakerism is my home. Friends' process, Friends' testimonies: these are how I walk with integrity in the world. I am sure and joyful in my ministry, in its different forms, even when I am uncertain.
Right now in particular, I feel like I am crossing a stream, one stone at a time. So far, each stone has been steady; but I don't know if the next one will wobble, or how many stones there are after that, or if they reach the bank. I just know I need to be faithful one step, one stone, at a time. ("Imani, faith.") And I know that the stream and the woods are really, really beautiful.
Two, I know that I am a Witch: I know the Goddess. Leaf, stone, sun, breeze, trickle of water, the Spirit moving among us when we are gathered together in community: I have met Her, I continue to meet Her.
Three... I feel. How do I feel? Lonely, frustrated, hurt, determined, joyful, faithful, sure, uncertain, reassured.
My faith in Quaker process has not been diminished; it only increases during these conflicts. On the other hand, my frustration with an intellectual and emotional mimicry of Quaker process has grown and remains high. It's so obvious, afterwards (and sometimes during), when one has been part of true Friends' process. It's marvelous, even when it's hard work and hard emotionally and spiritually. It's not so obvious when one has been part of what I've heard referred to as "Meeting for Good Ideas," except for a vague feeling of deep disappointment afterwards (and sometimes during).
I am really tired of "Meeting for Good Ideas." Partially because I yearn for the spiritual communion of true Meeting for Worship and Meeting for Worship with Attention to Business. Partially because, in the current controversies of which I am part, there is no room for me in Meeting for Good Ideas.
In Meeting for Good Ideas, I watch people say, with utter conviction, outrageous untruths (and sometimes downright lies) about me and about what they call "people like me." Things they've learned from third parties, not from the Spirit: from gossip; from the internet; from people who actually don't know anything about me or my work personally, but who are queried as "experts." Sometimes folks just plain make stuff up.
So much of what I hear reminds me of what I went through in the late 80s and early 90s as a lesbian. Even within supposedly supportive communities, people would say the most outrageous things as fact. In some spiritual communities, they still do.
Perhaps I need to write an entire separate entry on myth-busting. But for now, a few examples. Lesbians, bi people, gay men, transgender people, and queer folk are not, by inherent condition of being LBGTQ: primarily interested in molesting children; constitutionally incapable of forming long-term, stable relationships; confused; unable to commit; celibate; promiscuous; mentally unstable; etc.
Pagan Quakers, are not, by inherent condition of being Pagan Friends: ignorant of Quaker history; dangerous; unfamiliar with Quaker worship/ process/ testimonies; trying to dilute Quakerism; trying to destroy Friends' process; committed to ritual; not committed to ritual; into killing squirrels; incapable of Quaker worship; confused; unable to commit; etc.
Back to Meeting for Good Ideas. It seems that it takes true worship for there to be room for me.
When I can truly worship with Friends -- not participate in discussion under the guise of worship, but be part of a group that truly asks, "How are we led?" -- then I am not angry and I am not afraid: I am open. If our worship leads to an outcome, by listening deeply -- as ours is a religious tradition of listening spirituality -- by listening deeply, I know we come to an outcome that will work for me. But our worship might not lead to an outcome, and if it does not, then it does not. We are in Friends process.
So, what do I want, what do I need?
Right now, I'd really love it if some folks came out into the metaphorical back yard with me, where I'm feeling lonely, sad, tender, and a little overwhelmed. There's this lovely old, large magnolia tree we can climb together (assuming I can still climb trees in my advanced middle age!), or we can sit together in a circle on the grass, on lawn chairs or cushions or blankets. I'd love it if we sat together in worship for a while. Maybe after, we can have some deep conversation, or worship-sharing. Maybe we can eat together here outside. And maybe when we're done, we can sing together, drum, play instruments. Maybe a few hardy folks will dance.
Maybe we can help each other be faithful. Maybe we can give each other strength.
Maybe we can build community.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Friends Journal special issue
Earlier this year, I submitted an article to Friends Journal for their upcoming special issue on the Peace Testimony. I'd felt compelled to write, for other Friends, about my experiences in American Red Cross volunteer work with military families, and how a possible contradiction became an expression of the Peace Testimony for me.
I found out last month that it's been accepted! Today I got my edited proof to check over and send back.
This is both humbling and exciting, and I'm very pleased.
I found out last month that it's been accepted! Today I got my edited proof to check over and send back.
This is both humbling and exciting, and I'm very pleased.
Happy Beltane/May Day!
Happy Beltane and May Day!
Beltane/May Day is the cross-quarter day that falls half-way between Spring Equinox and Summer Solstice. In the mid-Atlantic region of the US, where I grew up and have lived most of my adult life, Beltane is all about welcoming Spring -- Who is generally bursting forth with great enthusiasm just about now. ("Boing!")
I grew up with May Day both as a workers' holiday and as a welcome-spring holiday. Later, at my (Quaker) college, we celebrated May Day by cancelling classes, rising before dawn to serenade the college president and to present seniors with baskets of flowers, breakfasting on strawberries and cream (yum!), dancing May poles, running hoop races, presenting plays and concerts, cavorting, running amok in a generally genteel fashion, and more. (It was great fun.)
Later, for many years, my actively Christian surrogate parents -- at their insistence -- hosted the big Roses, Too! Coven semi-open Beltane celebration at their house out in the country. ("But you have to have it here!") This became an all-day-and-into-the-evening event: May pole ritual (what do you weave into your life this year?), potluck (theme: sensual food), then singing and telling stories long into the evening.
Some things that stand out in my mind over time: chocolate-covered strawberries; tea from home-grown herbs; sprinkling each other with sprigs of my parents' lilacs dipped in water to bless each others' creativity; my young nephews and other young F/friends toddling unsteadily one year, then running around and around (and around!) the circle the next; the year K. was old enough to have her own ribbon for the first time; fresh home-made challah; fingers sticky with berries; weather hot, weather cold, weather everywhere in between. (And the fact that while May weather in southeastern Pennsylvania is chancy at best, and it rained on a good many Beltanes, it never once rained during the May Pole.) Community. Lots of lovely music.
Magic.
My Beloved Wife is a former union organizer. The year we were married, we looked for a nice Saturday in April or May, and discovered May 1st was a Saturday. We couldn't resist.
What does Beltane mean to me?
Hard to put into words. In many traditions, Beltane is a fertility holiday. And so I suppose it is: the fertility of the Earth and Her creatures; the fertility of our creativity. The insistence of life.
The joy of being able to see, touch, taste, smell, and hear the Goddess. Of being able to experience the That-Which-Is-Sacred with all my senses.
And more.
What does Beltane, does May Day, mean to you?
Beltane/May Day is the cross-quarter day that falls half-way between Spring Equinox and Summer Solstice. In the mid-Atlantic region of the US, where I grew up and have lived most of my adult life, Beltane is all about welcoming Spring -- Who is generally bursting forth with great enthusiasm just about now. ("Boing!")
I grew up with May Day both as a workers' holiday and as a welcome-spring holiday. Later, at my (Quaker) college, we celebrated May Day by cancelling classes, rising before dawn to serenade the college president and to present seniors with baskets of flowers, breakfasting on strawberries and cream (yum!), dancing May poles, running hoop races, presenting plays and concerts, cavorting, running amok in a generally genteel fashion, and more. (It was great fun.)
Later, for many years, my actively Christian surrogate parents -- at their insistence -- hosted the big Roses, Too! Coven semi-open Beltane celebration at their house out in the country. ("But you have to have it here!") This became an all-day-and-into-the-evening event: May pole ritual (what do you weave into your life this year?), potluck (theme: sensual food), then singing and telling stories long into the evening.
Some things that stand out in my mind over time: chocolate-covered strawberries; tea from home-grown herbs; sprinkling each other with sprigs of my parents' lilacs dipped in water to bless each others' creativity; my young nephews and other young F/friends toddling unsteadily one year, then running around and around (and around!) the circle the next; the year K. was old enough to have her own ribbon for the first time; fresh home-made challah; fingers sticky with berries; weather hot, weather cold, weather everywhere in between. (And the fact that while May weather in southeastern Pennsylvania is chancy at best, and it rained on a good many Beltanes, it never once rained during the May Pole.) Community. Lots of lovely music.
Magic.
My Beloved Wife is a former union organizer. The year we were married, we looked for a nice Saturday in April or May, and discovered May 1st was a Saturday. We couldn't resist.
What does Beltane mean to me?
Hard to put into words. In many traditions, Beltane is a fertility holiday. And so I suppose it is: the fertility of the Earth and Her creatures; the fertility of our creativity. The insistence of life.
The joy of being able to see, touch, taste, smell, and hear the Goddess. Of being able to experience the That-Which-Is-Sacred with all my senses.
And more.
What does Beltane, does May Day, mean to you?
Happy May Day!
Hal-an-Tow, traditional English May Day song
Many thanks to Broadside Electric, and to Jennifer Sheffield and SpiralSong Feminist Spirituality Vocal Ensemble, for my favorite versions of this lovely song.
Hal-an-tow
jolly rumble-o
we were up
long before the day-o
to welcome in the summer sun
to welcome in the May-o
for summer is a comin' in
and winter's gone away-o
Robin Hood and Little John
they both have gone to fair-o
and we shall to the merry green wood
to hunt the buck and hare-o
Hal-an-tow
jolly rumble-o
we were up
long before the day-o
to welcome in the summer sun
to welcome in the May-o
for summer is a comin' in
and winter's gone away-o
And where are all the Spaniards
who made so great a boast-o
they shall eat the feathered goose
and we shall east the roast-o
Hal-an-tow
jolly rumble-o
we were up
long before the day-o
to welcome in the summer sun
to welcome in the May-o
for summer is a comin' in
and winter's gone away-o
Do not scorn to wear the horn
that was the crest when you were born
your father's father wore it
and your father wore it, too
Hal-an-tow
jolly rumble-o
we were up
long before the day-o
to welcome in the summer sun
to welcome in the May-o
for summer is a comin' in
and winter's gone away-o
God bless Aunt Mary Moses
and all her power and might-o
and send us peace in England
send peace by day and night-o
Hal-an-tow
jolly rumble-o
we were up
long before the day-o
to welcome in the summer sun
to welcome in the May-o
for summer is a comin' in
and winter's gone away-o
Many thanks to Broadside Electric, and to Jennifer Sheffield and SpiralSong Feminist Spirituality Vocal Ensemble, for my favorite versions of this lovely song.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
News article about Quaker Pagans
Over the last few months, quite a number Pagan Friends participated in interviews with religion reporter Matthew Streib of the Religion News Service.
The resulting article, "Pagans find a sometimes uneasy home among Quakers," appeared on the Modern Reformation website on 4/25, and was one of the leads on the RNS website today.
While on the whole I believe Matthew did a good job, I do have some issues with the article:
Funny how I've never heard people say Christians who are Friends have a dual faith. And while people insist I am a hyphenated-Quaker (a Pagan-Quaker, or, more often, pagan-Quaker), I've never heard any insistence that Christian-Quakers are hyphenated.
I completely agree with Cat that superficiality is not a good thing. But then, I think that's true for both Paganism in general and Quakerism in general.
So I certainly like how the article ended. But I guess it just seems to me that some basic underlying assumptions went unchallenged in this article, and the ways in which we [the interviewees] challenged those assumptions just went right over the reporter's head. Ah, well. Perhaps in a longer, more chewy piece it may have been more likely to happen.
On the other hand, I am vastly amused by Christianity Today's take on this: "Now hundreds of pagans call Quakerism home." Hundreds? Who knew?? Where are we? (I figured I'd know if there were hundreds of us!)
Check out the lovely and lively comments on Quaker Pagan Reflections. I look forward to reading comments here, too!
p.s. Hee. Just as I was finishing this, "Choir" by emma's revolution (Pat Humphries and Sandy Opatow, of FGC Gathering 2003 fame) came on my cd player's shuffle. "Has anybody seen the choir? I want to preach to the converted!" Humor and perspective are Good Things. :)
The resulting article, "Pagans find a sometimes uneasy home among Quakers," appeared on the Modern Reformation website on 4/25, and was one of the leads on the RNS website today.
While on the whole I believe Matthew did a good job, I do have some issues with the article:
- Although I don't know the content of Kevin-Douglas' interview with Matt, I do know (very well) that K-D was involved with Paganism long before Russell died.
- Every other religion mentioned is capitalized in the article, but Pagan is not. (In this case, I don't know if this is Matthew's decision, or that of his editor.)
- While I can't speak for all Pagan Friends, for most Pagan Friends I know, this is not remotely a "dual faith."
Funny how I've never heard people say Christians who are Friends have a dual faith. And while people insist I am a hyphenated-Quaker (a Pagan-Quaker, or, more often, pagan-Quaker), I've never heard any insistence that Christian-Quakers are hyphenated.
- I don't have a tape of our conversation, but I can't imagine that I said you can find a Pagan in almost any liberal Meeting. (For one thing, it certainly depends on how big the Meeting, where it is in the US, etc.)
I completely agree with Cat that superficiality is not a good thing. But then, I think that's true for both Paganism in general and Quakerism in general.
So I certainly like how the article ended. But I guess it just seems to me that some basic underlying assumptions went unchallenged in this article, and the ways in which we [the interviewees] challenged those assumptions just went right over the reporter's head. Ah, well. Perhaps in a longer, more chewy piece it may have been more likely to happen.
On the other hand, I am vastly amused by Christianity Today's take on this: "Now hundreds of pagans call Quakerism home." Hundreds? Who knew?? Where are we? (I figured I'd know if there were hundreds of us!)
Check out the lovely and lively comments on Quaker Pagan Reflections. I look forward to reading comments here, too!
p.s. Hee. Just as I was finishing this, "Choir" by emma's revolution (Pat Humphries and Sandy Opatow, of FGC Gathering 2003 fame) came on my cd player's shuffle. "Has anybody seen the choir? I want to preach to the converted!" Humor and perspective are Good Things. :)
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Philadelphia-area event
from Jen and Nif:
"..to welcome in the summer sun, to welcome in the May-o
for summer is a comin' in, and winter's gone away-o"
Greetings, and happy springtime! SpiralSong will be presenting a spring concert at the Big Blue Marble Bookstore in Mt. Airy on Sunday, May 4, at 3pm. We hope to see you there!
Sunday, May 4, 3:00pm.
SpiralSong Sings in the Spring!
Best known for community-wide Winter Solstice celebrations each December, SpiralSong presents a May Day(ish) concert of seedlings,solidarity, and social justice. Directed by bookstore staffer Jen Sheffield.
Admission: free
Big Blue Marble Bookstore
551 Carpenter Lane
(corner of Carpenter and Greene St.)
Philadelphia, PA 19119
215-844-1870
http://www.bigbluemarblebooks.com/
"..to welcome in the summer sun, to welcome in the May-o
for summer is a comin' in, and winter's gone away-o"
Friday, April 25, 2008
"An unromantic approach..."
I'd like to recommend my friend Michelle's article, "Don't wait for the 'right room' to pray."
(I know we Quakers like to think we're immune to this, but really, we are confronted with all the same challenges as everyone else when we wish to commune with the Divine. I've heard from a lot of Friends who have trouble worshipping outside the Meeting Room...)
(I know we Quakers like to think we're immune to this, but really, we are confronted with all the same challenges as everyone else when we wish to commune with the Divine. I've heard from a lot of Friends who have trouble worshipping outside the Meeting Room...)
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Marines in my life
As some of you know, my surrogate brother was, until very recently, in the Marine Corps. In some ways, there's the kind of tension you might expect between us about it; and yet there are other ways in which he understands some of the peace work I've done out of my convictions as a Friend -- peace witness in the Middle East; American Red Cross Disaster Relief and Armed Forces Emergency Services work -- better than anyone else in my family.
I just found out that a dear cousin on another side of the family, who's graduating from high school this June, has enlisted in the Marines. He tells me he's shipping out in September.
And I am having a hard time with this.
My brother was considerably older when he enlisted. He started in the reserves. He fought in Desert Storm. He's always been older (and taller) than I am. There are times when I've been scared for him, and for my family, but I've had, I don't know -- a certain acceptance of his decision to serve this way.
My cousin is eighteen. He's starting on active duty. We're in the middle of a long war. I held him as a baby. He's only been taller than I am for a couple of years.
And, from the soldiers and families I've worked with as a volunteer, I have some sense of what he's going into.
I'm scared for him, and I don't have that same kind of acceptance of his decision.
I know he's going to learn a lot about himself, and he's going to grow. And I'm looking forward to seeing that.
But I am not looking forward to the rest.
I wish I could protect him in the same way I held him as a baby.
Not a sentiment he'd appreciate, I think. :)
I just found out that a dear cousin on another side of the family, who's graduating from high school this June, has enlisted in the Marines. He tells me he's shipping out in September.
And I am having a hard time with this.
My brother was considerably older when he enlisted. He started in the reserves. He fought in Desert Storm. He's always been older (and taller) than I am. There are times when I've been scared for him, and for my family, but I've had, I don't know -- a certain acceptance of his decision to serve this way.
My cousin is eighteen. He's starting on active duty. We're in the middle of a long war. I held him as a baby. He's only been taller than I am for a couple of years.
And, from the soldiers and families I've worked with as a volunteer, I have some sense of what he's going into.
I'm scared for him, and I don't have that same kind of acceptance of his decision.
I know he's going to learn a lot about himself, and he's going to grow. And I'm looking forward to seeing that.
But I am not looking forward to the rest.
I wish I could protect him in the same way I held him as a baby.
Not a sentiment he'd appreciate, I think. :)
Saturday, April 5, 2008
'Tis the season
March 30's Oh My Gods! reminded me of something.
Many years ago, I was attending a meeting after work one night just before Easter and Passover. During the break, I was having a conversation with a friend who'd sought me out for mutual support: we were the only two non-Christians in a room full of fairly religious people... many of whom kept looking at us oddly. The program was supposed to be "spiritual, not religious," but we often found ourselves, well, misunderstood. The butt of jokes. Fielding "questions" about the same stereotypes, over and over. From people who insisted they were truly accepting. Or from those who were just truly clueless.
"May the Force be with you! [giggle] No, really, I'm not making fun of you. I think it's fine that you're a Witch."
"You're Jewish? Why did you kill Jesus when He's our Lord and Savior?!"
Our best educational efforts reached a number of folks; but nonetheless, cluelessness can be awfully persistent. After a weeks and then months of it, well, our humor got... warped.
That night, my friend drew me off to the side while we drank our tea.
My friend and I looked at each other. We were speechless.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Many years ago, I was attending a meeting after work one night just before Easter and Passover. During the break, I was having a conversation with a friend who'd sought me out for mutual support: we were the only two non-Christians in a room full of fairly religious people... many of whom kept looking at us oddly. The program was supposed to be "spiritual, not religious," but we often found ourselves, well, misunderstood. The butt of jokes. Fielding "questions" about the same stereotypes, over and over. From people who insisted they were truly accepting. Or from those who were just truly clueless.
"May the Force be with you! [giggle] No, really, I'm not making fun of you. I think it's fine that you're a Witch."
"You're Jewish? Why did you kill Jesus when He's our Lord and Savior?!"
Our best educational efforts reached a number of folks; but nonetheless, cluelessness can be awfully persistent. After a weeks and then months of it, well, our humor got... warped.
That night, my friend drew me off to the side while we drank our tea.
"How's it going?" I asked.At which point, one rather young and earnest fellow -- the one who consistently greeted me with, "May the Force be with you," followed by giggles and the insistence that no, really, he accepted me -- stalked up to us and said, "I don't appreciate you making fun of my religion like that." And stalked off.
"Okay, okay."
"Ready for Pesach?"
"Not entirely. We still need the blood of some unbaptized Christian babies so we can make matzoh, you know. Hey, you're a Witch -- you know where to get that stuff, right?"
"No, man, are you kidding? We had to use squirrels last Full Moon. Do you know how hard those damned things are to catch? If you get a line on babies, please let me know."
My friend and I looked at each other. We were speechless.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monday, March 31, 2008
Peeps... Passover... ow
While Peeps were originally an Easter candy, they've come to fill many other roles over the years. For example, they were often an important part of Roses, Too!'s Eostara and Samhain observances.
But it had never occurred to me that they could have such an educational role for Pesach...
"Peeps for Passover"
But it had never occurred to me that they could have such an educational role for Pesach...
"Peeps for Passover"
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Grace
I am in the middle of a stressful, anxiety-producing couple of weeks -- a lot of life is happening in a short period. On the plus side, it's time-limited and is already in the process of resolving. But until more of it sorts itself out, I'm chewing my fingernails and not getting enough sleep.
But I am getting good support.
And in the middle of this, there are ways in which the Goddess is clearly dancing in my life.
Or, in Quakerspeak, there are ways in which the Spirit is clearly moving in my life.
This makes me happy.
And, all things considered, She's leading me pretty gently right now. I think this is what happens when I am able to listen better. (Less need to shout, perhaps?) :)
It's all right, it's all right
It's all right
She moves in mysterious ways...
But I am getting good support.
And in the middle of this, there are ways in which the Goddess is clearly dancing in my life.
Or, in Quakerspeak, there are ways in which the Spirit is clearly moving in my life.
This makes me happy.
And, all things considered, She's leading me pretty gently right now. I think this is what happens when I am able to listen better. (Less need to shout, perhaps?) :)
It's all right, it's all right
It's all right
She moves in mysterious ways...
Monday, March 24, 2008
Done is good
My final rainbow shawl commission is done! I just have to put it in the mail.
Hooray!
I have now done five of these -- the original one, two commissions from that same auction, plus two more in subsequent auctions. I am sooooo done. (At least, for now. If someone's heart is set on one, or on a rainbow throw, I would consider it.)
Now I can work on my first-ever sweater, a present for my beloved wife. :)
Hooray!
I have now done five of these -- the original one, two commissions from that same auction, plus two more in subsequent auctions. I am sooooo done. (At least, for now. If someone's heart is set on one, or on a rainbow throw, I would consider it.)
Now I can work on my first-ever sweater, a present for my beloved wife. :)
Sunday, March 23, 2008
What does a bunny have to do with Easter?
Here's a fairly good video -- "History of the Holidays: Easter" -- from History.com, regarding how certain practices and customs from the Pagan festival of Eostara came to be associated with the Christian festival of Easter...
FGC Summer Gathering 2008: Courageously Faithful
This year's Friends General Conference Gathering will be held in Johnstown, PA, from 28 June through 5 July. Gathering can be a truly wonderful experience. Financial assistance is available, so don't let that be the thing that stops you. Click here for more information.
Hope to see many of you there!
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Courageously Explicit
The theme for this year's Gathering of Friends General Conference is "Courageously Faithful."
Thanks to my Beloved Wife, I started attending Summer Gathering in 2001. And the Goddess made it clear right off the bat that She was calling me to active ministry among Pagan Friends, not just in my life in general, but at Summer Gathering: that year, I was asked to facilitate the Women's Center Full Moon Ritual; from 2002 to 2006, I facilitated evening interest groups for and about Pagan Quakers; and in 2007, I facilitated a week-long workshop for Pagan Friends.
This year, I am being led in an even broader, deeper direction.
For the last several years, I've been having conversations with Friends in different locales about who feels "most welcome" and "most at home" in our Meetings. I've talked with Pagan Friends, of course, but also Non-Theist Friends, Jewish Friends, Christian Friends, straight Friends, and queer Friends. These conversations have led me to conclusions I didn't necessarily expect, coming at first solely from my own experience and that of other Pagan Quakers.
It's never who we'd necessarily think.
Here's one example, from a large, East Coast Monthly Meeting:
---------------------------
In this Meeting, Pagan Friends feel that they are not welcome to give vocal ministry that's explicit -- that comes from their experience of the Divine, or comes in the language of how they experience the Divine. They feel that it's not okay for them to talk about the Goddess or the Gods, Samhain or Beltane, or the like. They've been eldered for it, they've been criticized for it, they've been told they have to give up the Goddess if they're going to be Quakers -- even though some of them are members of their Meeting.
These Pagan Friends have the impression it's okay for Christian Friends to give explicit ministry. They feel like it's okay for Christian Friends to talk about Jesus or Christ, Christmas or Easter, or the like.
I've heard from Christian Friends in this same Meeting, who were also told their vocal ministry wasn't welcome. I've heard from Friends -- including members of the Meeting -- who were asked not to return after giving explicitly Christian ministry during worship.
I felt an answering pain and anger.
But, they told me, Pagans can say whatever they want.
So, in this one example: The Christians think the Pagans are welcome to speak clearly and openly from their experience of the Divine, but not Christians. The Pagans think the Christians can speak clearly and openly from their experience of the Divine, but not Pagans.
And they've both got it wrong.
---------------------------
Here's my theory:
Friends who experience the Divine in explicit, specific ways rarely feel like we're the "most comfortable" or the "most welcome" in our Meetings.
Somehow, our explicitness is threatening. And folks have let us know that.
Now, I freely admit, when someone stands and speaks their truth, and makes it clear that theirs is "The One Right Way" and that they're prepared to act accordingly, that I feel threatened.
But all of the Pagan, Jewish, and Non-Theist Friends, and most of the Christian Friends, whom I've heard give ministry in the explicit language of their experience are not preaching theirs as "The One Right Way." Most of them are very clear: This is my experience. This is my facet of the whole.
A universal longing in spiritual/religious community is for a place where we can have these conversations about the Divine in our lives. "How fares the Truth with thee, Friend?"
It's time for explicit Friends -- and I'm using this term for lack of a better one, not because I think it's necessarily the best term -- it's time for explicit Friends to reach out to one another, talk with one another, support each other, lift each other up, help each other be faithful, have deep, chewy conversations with each other, build community together.
So, here's the beginning of the language I'm fantasizing about for the interest group proposal:
Title: Courageously Explicit.
Description: Three Friends walk into Meeting for Worship: a Christian, a Pagan, a Non-Theist, and a Jew.
What might the next sentences be?
They all give explicit ministry.
They all experience gathered worship.
Come help tell the rest of the story.
If you experience the Divine in a specific, explicit way, come build community and share fellowship.
I don't know yet what the rest of the language will be.
I welcome discussion on this.
(And yes, I know that's more than three: Jewish, Non-Theist, and Pagan, at least, are not mutually exclusive. *smile*)
Thanks to my Beloved Wife, I started attending Summer Gathering in 2001. And the Goddess made it clear right off the bat that She was calling me to active ministry among Pagan Friends, not just in my life in general, but at Summer Gathering: that year, I was asked to facilitate the Women's Center Full Moon Ritual; from 2002 to 2006, I facilitated evening interest groups for and about Pagan Quakers; and in 2007, I facilitated a week-long workshop for Pagan Friends.
This year, I am being led in an even broader, deeper direction.
For the last several years, I've been having conversations with Friends in different locales about who feels "most welcome" and "most at home" in our Meetings. I've talked with Pagan Friends, of course, but also Non-Theist Friends, Jewish Friends, Christian Friends, straight Friends, and queer Friends. These conversations have led me to conclusions I didn't necessarily expect, coming at first solely from my own experience and that of other Pagan Quakers.
It's never who we'd necessarily think.
Here's one example, from a large, East Coast Monthly Meeting:
---------------------------
In this Meeting, Pagan Friends feel that they are not welcome to give vocal ministry that's explicit -- that comes from their experience of the Divine, or comes in the language of how they experience the Divine. They feel that it's not okay for them to talk about the Goddess or the Gods, Samhain or Beltane, or the like. They've been eldered for it, they've been criticized for it, they've been told they have to give up the Goddess if they're going to be Quakers -- even though some of them are members of their Meeting.
These Pagan Friends have the impression it's okay for Christian Friends to give explicit ministry. They feel like it's okay for Christian Friends to talk about Jesus or Christ, Christmas or Easter, or the like.
I've heard from Christian Friends in this same Meeting, who were also told their vocal ministry wasn't welcome. I've heard from Friends -- including members of the Meeting -- who were asked not to return after giving explicitly Christian ministry during worship.
I felt an answering pain and anger.
But, they told me, Pagans can say whatever they want.
So, in this one example: The Christians think the Pagans are welcome to speak clearly and openly from their experience of the Divine, but not Christians. The Pagans think the Christians can speak clearly and openly from their experience of the Divine, but not Pagans.
And they've both got it wrong.
---------------------------
Here's my theory:
Friends who experience the Divine in explicit, specific ways rarely feel like we're the "most comfortable" or the "most welcome" in our Meetings.
Somehow, our explicitness is threatening. And folks have let us know that.
Now, I freely admit, when someone stands and speaks their truth, and makes it clear that theirs is "The One Right Way" and that they're prepared to act accordingly, that I feel threatened.
But all of the Pagan, Jewish, and Non-Theist Friends, and most of the Christian Friends, whom I've heard give ministry in the explicit language of their experience are not preaching theirs as "The One Right Way." Most of them are very clear: This is my experience. This is my facet of the whole.
A universal longing in spiritual/religious community is for a place where we can have these conversations about the Divine in our lives. "How fares the Truth with thee, Friend?"
It's time for explicit Friends -- and I'm using this term for lack of a better one, not because I think it's necessarily the best term -- it's time for explicit Friends to reach out to one another, talk with one another, support each other, lift each other up, help each other be faithful, have deep, chewy conversations with each other, build community together.
So, here's the beginning of the language I'm fantasizing about for the interest group proposal:
Title: Courageously Explicit.
Description: Three Friends walk into Meeting for Worship: a Christian, a Pagan, a Non-Theist, and a Jew.
What might the next sentences be?
They all give explicit ministry.
They all experience gathered worship.
Come help tell the rest of the story.
If you experience the Divine in a specific, explicit way, come build community and share fellowship.
I don't know yet what the rest of the language will be.
I welcome discussion on this.
(And yes, I know that's more than three: Jewish, Non-Theist, and Pagan, at least, are not mutually exclusive. *smile*)
Friday, March 21, 2008
England 6: Quaker Country
My final day visiting Beloved Wife in England, we headed further up north, into Quaker Country (also called "1652 Country").
(Two wonderful websites about walking tours of 1652 Quaker country: Bill Samuel's Quaker Tour of England, and Dai Williams' An Attender in Quaker Country.)
We were limited to places we could get to by the combination of public transit and our own two feet, and by the time of a dinner date in Manchester that evening. Beloved Wife did some on-line research, and we decided to visit Briggflatts Meeting House and hopefully Firbank Fell.
We took the train to Oxenholme, then the bus to Sedbergh. The bus ride was, um, dramatic: here we were on this big bus, in hilly country, on these very narrow lanes bordered by stone fences, going rather fast. (It didn't seem to bother any of the other passengers -- three elderly women -- at all.)
From the bus, we had a lovely view of Lambrigg Wind Farm. That was neat!
Here we are in Sedbergh:
(Don't ask me why there are palm trees in Sedbergh.) From Sedbergh, we walked to Briggflatts Meeting House and Burial Ground. (For the map, click here. Briggflatts is southwest of Sedbergh; Firbank Fell is northwest of Sedbergh.)
Walking along paths in this part of England involves some interesting customs regarding private property and public rights-of-way. And gates. As with our trip from Edale, we found ourselves walking along paths that bordered as well as cut through the middle of sheep pastures. (In Edale, there were some cattle, too.)
The customs seem pretty simple: don't scare the critters, keep your dog on a lead if you're walking with one, and make sure you close the gates behind you. Interestingly, as we approached Briggflatts, and saw there was repair work taking place on one of the buildings, we also saw signs for the re-routed footpath. Very neat.
So we walked out of town, through fields, over hills, along lanes, and under an abandoned railroad track, until we came to Briggflatts. First we visited the burial ground, then the meetinghouse itself.
The burial ground was beautiful.
The meetinghouse, which dates from 1678, was also beautiful. Even now, just looking at the picture and remembering the deep, deep sense of peace in the meeting room, I find myself with tears in my eyes.
Many of the folks who signed the guest register -- Friends and non-Friends alike -- commented on the simple beauty and the peace of the meetinghouse.
Perhaps, as Friends, we shouldn't care, or it shouldn't matter to us, what our Meetinghouses look like, if they're beautiful or not. But it does. And I don't think worse of us for it.
Briggflatts is in my absolute favorite style of meeting room. There's a meetinghouse in the midwest of the US, whose insides just look like a Methodist church to me: medium-blond wood paneling on the walls, the same shade of medium-blond wood in the benches, pale blue-green cushions, and very modern. Somehow, it just doesn't work for me. (I realize this sense of what's "right" in a meetinghouse is a distinct result of the East Coast Catholic portion of my upbringing.)
There is a small set of rooms in the same building, accessible from outside, that houses the Meeting's library, a bathroom, and even a small kitchen. There were mugs and tea placed out in the library, with a note that milk was in the fridge, and an invitation to eat one's lunch and have a hot cup of tea. Such lovely hospitality!
We had our lunch out in the garden, in spite of the chill, while consulting the map. We sadly concluded that we could not both walk to Fox's Pulpit on Firbank Fell and make our train, and prepared to leave. As we were walking up the lane towards the footpath, one of the wardens, Tess, appeared out of their house to talk with us, and offered to drive us up. This gave us a lovely chance to visit with her, and talk about the life of the Meeting, Quakerism in the US and Britain, her husband and children, and just to enjoy fellowship. It was a treat.
Tess told us how George Fox preached to 1,000 people here. We had heard this, but found ourselves in puzzlement. Firbank Fell is in the middle of nowhere, as you can see in this picture. Why did Fox decide to preach there, and why on earth were 1,000 people there, 350-odd years ago, to hear him?
According to Tess, the people of Kendal and Sedbergh couldn't decided which of the two towns should get the church, so the church was built on top of Firbank Fell, between them. When Fox came to preach, word spread, and so not only did the folk of both towns come to hear him, so also did all their friends and relatives from far away. When Fox was denied entry to the church, he chose this rock, next to the church, from which to preach.
(Evidently, he later took over the pulpit in the church, too.)
Tess offered to drive us to Sedbergh to catch our bus, but because of her help, we had plenty of time to walk back to town; so we asked her to drop us off back at her house and the meetinghouse. When we got there, a committee meeting was about to start, so we got to meet several folks from the Meeting. In spite of all the visitors they get every year, they welcomed us enthusiastically (in an understated British way). Like the warden in York, they seemed to feel some extra kinship on learning that the two of us are part of the unprogrammed tradition.
To walk back to Sedbergh, we cut along the old railway bed so we could walk along the Dales Way footpath.
We were in good time to catch our bus, and then our train, and then to have dinner with folks in Manchester.
The day was definitely one of the highlights of my trip.
Click below for the full album.
 |
| 2008-02 England 6: Quaker country |
The Snow Bunny
The Ostara Bunny and the Snow Bunny announced together today that the Snow Bunny will distributing eggs to Pagan children for Ostara/Spring Equinox this year in Southeastern Michigan.
"With the National Weather Service and my own instincts calling for 5-8 inches of snow, the Snow Bunny is just much better-equipped to handle winter storm conditions while delivering eggs to the Pagan children of Southeastern Michigan," the Ostara Bunny stated.
The Snow Bunny added, "It's very important to both of us that children everywhere know how much they mean to us, and this means making sure there are eggs for them to find in the snow. I consider it an honor to accept this mission."
In addition to being better able to handle snowy conditions, the Snow Bunny's white fur will make it easier for her to remain hidden in plain view while she does her work.
"With the National Weather Service and my own instincts calling for 5-8 inches of snow, the Snow Bunny is just much better-equipped to handle winter storm conditions while delivering eggs to the Pagan children of Southeastern Michigan," the Ostara Bunny stated.
The Snow Bunny added, "It's very important to both of us that children everywhere know how much they mean to us, and this means making sure there are eggs for them to find in the snow. I consider it an honor to accept this mission."
In addition to being better able to handle snowy conditions, the Snow Bunny's white fur will make it easier for her to remain hidden in plain view while she does her work.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
The Ostara Snow Bunny Cometh
There's a winter storm warning in effect, with 5-8 inches of snow predicted between Friday night and Saturday morning.
Happy Equinox/Ostara! ;-)
Happy Equinox/Ostara! ;-)
Sunday, March 16, 2008
"When Girls Will Be Boys"
This is a fascinating article on college students -- particularly at women's colleges -- who come to identify as transmen and genderqueer, and many, many of the issues this raises. (The NY Times requires free registration.)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)