Two years ago, I posted this article about the National Coming Out Day conversation I'd had:
"Not the National Coming Out Day conversation I expected"
What really blew my mind, in that on-line conversation two years ago, was how the person involved just plain didn't believe me, and kept insisting I was wrong about my experience -- the taxes I pay that they don't, my legal situation, etc.
How do you think the conversation might be different today, in 2011, instead of 2009?
What's changed over the last two years in allies' consciousness about the reality of daily life as a lesbian, bi woman, gay man, bi man, transgender woman, transgender man, genderqueer person, queer woman, queer man, queer person?
Allies, what's changed for you over the last two years?
LGBTQ folks, what changes have you noticed in allies' support?
Just off the top of my head, a few things I've noticed:
ReplyDeleteAfter that interaction, I started talking and writing a lot more about my experience with marriage (in)equality. In those conversations...
* I've noticed that non-queer people are in general more aware of the lack of federal benefits in the US and of the higher costs same-sex couples face than do legally-married opposite-sex couples.
* Few people are aware that same-sex civil unions and domestic partnerships granted in one jurisdiction are almost never honored in another; that when couples move, they almost always must dissolve civil unions and domestic partnerships in one jurisdiction before getting another in their new city/county/state; that same-sex marriages granted in one state are not honored in all states; and that if your state doesn't honor your same-sex marriage from another state, getting divorced can be really challenging.
However, more people than before are aware of these issues: when I bring any of them up, sometimes now, people actually look me in the eye and say, "I never used to know anything about that before, but I heard/read/talked to someone recently... and that's insane."
Sometimes, these days, my telling them isn't the first time they've heard this.
* I hear the "preferred pronoun" conversation happening more often -- sometimes even when known genderqueer people aren't present. And it's not always young adults -- teens and twenty-somethings -- or transgender or genderqueer people who initiate or insist on this conversation.